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Ending this brief relationship is not something I want to do over the phone, and though I’m aware that work is the last place to have this conversation, it feels paramount. We need to talk. Now. I can’t keep dragging this out. It’s not fair to Michael.
In the hospital, I look for him out in the central hallway of the ICU, but he’s not there. My phone buzzes in the pocket of my scrub pants with an incoming text, but I ignore it. I can’t get sidetracked.
Finally, I find Michael in an office some of the mid-level providers use. Thankfully, he’s the only one there now, typing at his computer when I knock on the open door.
He looks up and smiles. “Hey, Tate. I was wondering if I’d see you today.”
I nod. “Surprised you’re here already.”
“I had some notes to catch up on and I don’t want to have to stay late.”
He pushes out a chair nearby him in invitation. After I walk in, I tug the door closed behind me so our voices won’t be so easily heard by passersby out in the hall.
“How was your night?” he asks.
His light tone belies a slight annoyance in his expression.
“It was fine. Turned in early. Sorry we didn’t end up hanging out.”
“No, it’s all good. I know it’s not always easy, especially the night before you work.”
I look down and realize I’ve been attacking the cuticle on my thumbnail. I force my hands apart and smooth them down my thighs. “Actually, it’s kind of more than just that…”
Oh god, here goes.
“Michael…I’m a little confused at the moment.”
His forehead wrinkles. “Confused?”
“About how I’m feeling with things, I mean. I like you, I do. I just…I’m kind of in a weird place in my life right now.”
“Okay.”
He says the word slowly like he’s having a hard time keeping up. It’s understandable. To him, it probably feels like this is coming out of nowhere.
“I don’t want to waste your time.” I rush to continue, “I know we’ve never said we’re exclusive or anything, but still…”
He shakes his head. “No, yeah, I get it.”
“I just don’t want us to be on different pages here. Maybe it’s better if we put things on pause for now?”
I know I’m not using forceful enough language. I know some people would march in here and say, Hey Michael, yeah, buddy, it’s over. But he’s been nothing but kind to me, and I don’t relish the idea of trampling all over his feelings.
“I totally get it,” Michael says with a wistful smile. “Honestly, I’m kind of there too, myself.”
“Yeah?” My tone brims with relief. I haven’t noticed him pulling back, but quite frankly, I’ve been a little self-absorbed lately.
Just then, my phone buzzes again in my pocket. Whoever’s texting me is being annoyingly persistent. It’s probably Daphne and Sophia; they get carried away sometimes. I ignore it and keep my gaze on Michael as he nods.
“This whole dating thing is a little weird for me after coming out of such a serious relationship. I get where you’re coming from.”
I feel like a huge weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I’m about to tell him I appreciate how nice he’s being about all of this, but then the office door opens. Michael and I aren’t sitting overly close to each other or even remotely in a compromising position, but still, I lean back slightly to put a little more distance between us as one of Michael’s colleagues walks in.
I push to stand, not quite sure how to end this. Michael gives me a thumbs-up because it’s not like we can keep the conversation rolling now that we have company. I give him a nod and a last, appreciative smile.
As I leave, I get yet another text, and finally, I tug my phone out of my pocket to find that it’s actually Chloe and Luke blowing up my phone this morning.
Chloe: Tate! Any chance you’re free tomorrow night? I was supposed to go with Luke to this fundraiser, but I just realized Harper has a dress rehearsal for her spring ballet concert and I have to be there with her! It’s mandatory! Also…she’d kill me if I missed it.
Then my brother responded.
Luke: Tate, come on, be my date. I promise I won’t stomp on your feet too much on the dance floor. And hey, you can go to Bergdorf’s and pick out any dress you want.
* * *
Chloe: Say yes, say yes! Please!
* * *
Tate: Hmm…what about shoes?
I’m just being silly, but then Luke responds right away.
Luke: Get those too.
I laugh as I shake my head. My brother is absolutely crazy.
Tate: I was kidding! Besides, I don’t have time to shop between now and then. I work a twelve-hour shift today and tomorrow.
* * *
Chloe: Leave it to me then. I know your sizes. I’ll have a few things sent over to your apartment that you can pick from.
