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“Who cares if they know?” I hold his gaze as I stand outside his cottage. Nightfall makes it difficult to read his expression.
“I guess I'm just wondering if we're ready for the repercussions it will bring. Her father showed up here with a gun yesterday, and you let him go. He essentially got away with threatening you without a hair on his head being disturbed.”
“What was I supposed to do? Yes, he came here looking for a fight, but the guy was at risk of hurting himself more than me.” Folding my arms, I stare carefully at him, trying to get a read. There’s a reason we’re having this conversation here versus inside the house, so close to the others with big ears and even bigger tongues, ready to speak to the wrong people.
“I just don't want any of the men spreading rumors that you're going soft. Not for a girl, not for anyone. It's bad enough...” He blows out a long breath, staring out over the grounds. “It's bad enough that one man is working with Amanda.”
Shit. I must’ve spaced that. I remember Romero bringing it up, but we’ve had so many things going on.
“What’s the plan with that? Why haven’t we found out who it is yet?”
“It's not as easy as you think. If any of them think they’re being questioned or watched, we'll lose the opportunity to catch them. At this point, they’re all guilty until I can prove otherwise.”
It's hard to believe things have come to this. Amanda’s found a way to fuck with every aspect of my life. I hate to imagine one of my men, whom I've trusted up until now, going behind my back and working with that viper. Now, I have to prepare myself for the possibility that one of my men might have reported what went down yesterday.
“I’ll leave you to come up with a plan of attack. One way or another, we'll find the snake in the grass. Even if we have to force him to tell us.”
In the meantime, there was no hysterical phone call from Bianca either, so I trust Romero left Charlie in decent shape back at the house. I'm sure he couldn't have been much fun to be around when he finished sleeping it off, so not getting a phone call seems strange. The idea of her living with the fallout irritates the living shit out of me. She deserves better. I need to find a way to put this to rest for her sake, if for nothing else.
“Are you going to tell her?”
“I can't.”
“She deserves to know. It’s her fucking father, after all.”
“I realize that, but... no, he wouldn't hurt her. He loves her too much. Besides, he's not crazy, even if his actions make him appear that way.”
He releases a derisive snort. “You've got much more faith in the guy than I do.”
“He's obsessed and out for revenge. Imagine loving someone with your entire heart, and something happens to them. They’re shot and killed. Taken from you and your child. It’s traumatizing, especially if you don’t believe what happened, to begin with. What the police tell you is enough to drive you to insanity. The only problem is Charlie’s trying to get even with the wrong man. I didn't have a damn thing to do with that woman's death. I can see how he would want to blame me for it, but it wasn’t me.”
The thought of something like that happening to Bianca makes my stomach churn. Suppose someone hurt her or tried to take her from me. There would be nothing to stop me from losing my mind. I’d kill, destroy, and burn the world to the ground. In more than one way, Charlie and I are the same.
“This is a new leaf of understanding that you've turned over,” he points out with wry humor.
Yes, because of her. This is what she's done to me. I don't know what to do with my conflicting feelings. There's no black and white anymore. I don't know whether I should be grateful to her for that or if I should hate her to my dying breath. Nothing is simple now. She's changed me more profoundly than even Tatum's birth could manage.
“Either way, it'll hurt her to know he pulled a weapon on me, and I don't want her worrying about how I might retaliate. It's better to let it go for now and hope he's not stupid enough to show up here again.”
“Do you think he would? I hope not, although there’s no telling when you’re that bloodthirsty for revenge.”
“I don’t know, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.”
Nothing's been settled by the time I wave him into his house before turning back to mine. The singing of crickets and the occasional flicker of light from fireflies catch my attention yet have no calming effect as I march across the courtyard. There's so much hanging in limbo now: Bianca, my daughter, whether my ex will throw Charlie's appearance in my face. She would be stupid enough to do it, too.
