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He placed her back on her feet to rake his hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to say something then snapped it closed as he stared at her in exasperation.
“I didn’t come close when I said you were complicated. Have you ever in your life thought of the consequences before you plowed headfirst into situations you have no business putting yourself in?”
“My dad and mom used to tell me that all the time when I was growing up.”
Doom shook his head at her. “Seems to me you haven’t stopped; you’ve just gotten sneakier with age.”
Arden had to admit he was right.
Angrily walking to the desk, Doom leaned a hip on the side. “I’ll let it go if you tell me why. Why didn’t you three tell the truth in the first place?”
She stared down at her feet, embarrassed. “Because you said not to come here anymore. I want to be a Last Rider.”
“Why are you so determined to be a Last Rider?” he asked, putting his hands up questioningly. “Christ, I’ve told you the brothers would stay friends with Blue. You don’t make any sense… You’re not like the women who want to belong. You were a fucking virgin, for fuck’s sake!”
Arden glanced up from her shoes. “I’ve never been very close to Luc. I suppose we’re just too different.” She had adored Luc from the moment her parents brought him home from the hospital. He had been premature and four months old before he was stable enough to leave. Her parents were too terrified she would get the fragile baby sick, so they’d constantly told her not touch or get near him until he was well over two years old.
“What does that have to do—”
“My parents are dying, Doom.” Arden blinked back tears. It was the first time she had admitted out loud she didn’t have long left with them.
Doom gave her a sympathetic look.
“I need The Last Riders to be for Luc what I can’t.”
“What’s that?”
“Brothers.”
CHAPTER 37
THE SACRIFICE
“Brothers?” Uncertain, Doom frowned. “You mean having Blue’s back?”
Giving him a self-depreciating shrug, she kept her voice steady, not wanting Doom to see the heartache that her parents’ approaching deaths were causing her. “I mean the whole nine yards. I’ve watched how The Last Riders treat each other. You’re more family than friends. That’s what I want for Luc. When we lose Mom and Dad, he’s going to feel all alone.”
“He won’t be alone. Blue has you.”
“He resents me.” Dismally, she concluded that the only way Doom would get a better understanding of her relationship with Luc was if she opened to him. After the way he’d behaved last night, it was hard to open herself, but she loved Luc more than holding on to her pride.
“I had the childhood he wanted with my parents, when they were young and healthy. There are pictures all around our house of me growing up, playing softball with Mom as the coach, with Dad teaching me how to fix things, the vacations we took. Luc’s childhood was much different. He was premature and had several health issues. Because they had come so close to losing him, they were overprotective. They didn’t give him the same experiences I was fortunate to have.
“As he grew older, while Luc’s health improved, my parents’ deteriorated. My dad had a heart attack, and Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which had her undergoing several treatments and surgeries. I was given the perfect childhood, while Luc got the short end of the stick.”
Doom eyed her doubtfully. “You really think Blue would resent you for something beyond your control?”
“Maybe not consciously, but deep down, I think it has placed a wedge between us.” Arden linked her fingers together, pressing down to crack her knuckles on both hands. It was a habit she had developed when she played softball to release the tension she was feeling.
Dropping his eyes, Doom noticed the movement. “Have you tried talking to Blue about his feelings?”
Arden rolled her eyes. “Too many to count.”
“It didn’t go well?”
“With Mom and Dad being so sick, I had to take on more of a parenting role, which only added to Luc’s resentment.”
“I don’t see you coming off as being hardcore disciplinary.”
“I wasn’t, but Luc wanted a sister with whom he could share his feelings instead of making sure he gets his homework finished, goes to bed on time, and doesn’t do anything to upset our parents.”
“I can have Puck and Buck talk with him,” Doom offered.
“Please don’t. Luc’s feelings are his own. Maybe someday, he’ll understand. Luc really likes Buck, Puck, and Jesus. He doesn’t have to share them with me, and they give him someone to complain to about me. I don’t want them to have to convince my brother to love me. I love him and would do anything for him, and Luc knows that, which is all that counts.”
