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Yet, I had to run away from him.
I watch the clouds move, imagining one of them is hiding him as he flies his aircraft wherever he’s going.
MyClayton.
Our story is over, and there’s nothing I can do now.
The boat sways after the captain stops the engine. He’s probably looking around for a sign of whales. I reach for my wallet, drawing a round, golden object from one of its sleeves. I don’t even know why I’m still keeping it.
Maybe it’s time to forget.
My hand forms a fist around it.
The boat’s engine whirs back alive under my feet. Apparently, the captain has decided to move on.
It’s time.
I extend my arm. My hand trembles, but my fingers keep clinging to it like another force is controlling them.
Goddammit!
I stare at my own fist, the ocean wake in the background. My fingers start unfurling in the wind.
But among the noise of nature, I hear a whisper.
Baby Belle.
It’s my own whisper, but it makes me withdraw my arm.
And for the first time, I cry for him.
Our story is truly over. This golden object, the HartTracker, is the only thing that’s left of him. And he said it was his heart. Maybe it’s true, because the metal feels warm in my hand.
With tears streaming down my face, I clutch it and press it against my beating heart.
I miss him so much.
Because nobody hugs like Clayton Hartley.
Nobody kisses like Clayton Hartley.
Nobody keeps me safe like Clayton Hartley.
“Mom?” Raffi takes my hand that’s holding the railing. “Are you going to get sick again?”
“Hey baby, no. I’m fine.” I sniffle.
“Are you sure? Don’t puke here.”
I chuckle. “No. I’m fine.”
Soon the captain announces we have a humpback surfacing at two o’clock.
“Go!” I say to Raffi to grab a spot so he can take pictures.
But my son tugs my hand. “Come on, Mom! It’s a huge whale!”
I follow him, standing behind his frame, which, no doubt, will grow taller than me one day soon. The whale is breaching, making everyone gasp. The magnificent scene makes me forget about things for a second, but just like the creature disappearing into the blue, my attention lands back on HartTracker. I open my wallet, inserting it into the sleeve where it belongs.
