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I grabbed my phone and pulled up my Grief Anonymous app. I wouldn’t lie, I thought my therapist was delusional when she’d suggested it. For one, I had plenty of friends, and secondly, I didn’t think an app was a good way to meet someone. Turned out I was wrong. The anonymity of the whole thing made it so much easier to open up about how I was feeling, and once I connected with Anon13, everything snapped into place.
Me: I did something crazy.
Anon13: Sounds about right. Tell me about it.
Me: You know how I was supposed to head to Windsor next Saturday.
Anon13: Yeah…
Me: I went today. Surprise!
Anon13: Lucas must have lost his mind.
Me: By the cold way he looked at me, I’d say he was fine. Plus, that’s all behind me, remember? New year, new me and all that.
There was a long pause that made me think he was busy before his next message popped up.
Anon13: He’s an idiot.
Me: Well, they can’t all be as perfect as you.
Anon13: You haven’t even met me lol
Me: Exactly.
FIFTEEN
LUCAS
I satat the kitchen island with my back turned to the living room. Piper laughed freely from the couch, and my muscles tensed. She’d been here the last three days, and I couldn’t avoid her forever.
“Lucas, got anything planned for practice?” Alex shouted at me from the couch, forcing me to turn in his direction.
I kept my voice steady, even as my heart rate kicked up. Piper sat next to him. She’d pulled her long hair into an enormous bun that rested on top of her head, and a few pieces slipped out, falling forward. She’d changed. The roundness of her face had disappeared, and her cheeks were hollowed, making her look delicate, almost breakable.
“Not unless you count beep test drills.”
“Fuck, man. You wouldn’t do that to us,” Alex complained, and he ran his hand through his dirty-blond hair.
“Try me,” I said.
He kept talking, but I couldn’t pull my attention from Piper. The blue of her eyes stood out against the purple smudges underneath. I cleared my throat, focusing on my phone, and swallowed hard, resisting the urge to go over there. To turn her face to mine and check that she was okay.
Jax’s hand landed hard on my shoulder, breaking me out of my trance. I lifted my brow in question, but he returned the gesture. The muscles in my back twitched as he scrutinized me, but I kept my expression blank.
“Don’t be a dick,” Jax murmured low so only I could hear him.
I gritted my teeth. “Listen, if she stays away, so will I.”
I knew full well that was a lie. I couldn’t be in her orbit without being drawn in.
With my attention on Jax, I didn’t see Piper walking up to us. She was laughing at something one of the guys said, but her smile faltered, and I spotted a spark of anger when her eyes turned on me.
“Lucas.” She tried to make her voice drip with disdain, but we’d played this game before.
“Killer.” The nickname slipped out before I could stop it.
“Don’t call me that. Wouldn’t want people to get the wrong idea and think we may actually like each other.” Her lips curved in a slight smile, but her eyes remained bland.
