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“Fuck, Pips. You scared me.” He wrapped me up in a bear hug before following me into the house.
“I told Lucas he could just drop me off at Shana’s.” I turned back to see Jax frown, and I knew I was alone in this.
“Yeah, no. I’m with Lucas on this one.”
Traitor.
Alex came out of his room, a bag already packed. “I’ll stay with River upstairs. He’s got a couch set up. You can take my room.”
“Fine, but we’re talking about this in the morning.”
Lucas pointed toward the doorway Alex had just vacated. “Sure we are. Answer will be the same then too.”
I looked between the three of them and quelled the urge to stomp my foot. Rationally, I knew this was a solid plan, that if there wasn’t so much stuff between me and Lucas, I’d have jumped at the chance to stay here. But the idea of being so close to him had my chest caving in.
“Whatever.” I strode to Alex’s room and slammed the door behind me. It was a typical boy’s room. Bed, desk, TV hung on the wall with a gaming console underneath it. I looked at the thin black comforter and navy sheets. What were the chances I could sneak back into my dorm and grab my bedding? How many girls did Alex take back here in the last year? My stomach curled, and I stepped back directly into Lucas’s hard chest. I froze when his hands landed on my arms, steadying me, before he stepped around me to set new bedding down. “Go to sleep, Killer.”
I stared at the bed like it was going to bite me. Sleep. Right.
“I can’t—” I went to protest, but Lucas was already gone. I huffed and stripped the blankets and sheets from the bed, tossing them in the hamper, then made quick work putting on the sheets. If I just didn’t think about it, I’d be fine.
Lucas had left a shirt and shorts. I lifted the shirt, letting the faded black fabric slide over my fingers. This had been one of my favorites. I pulled it over my head and let the smell of sandalwood and cinnamon engulf me. I climbed under the blanket and buried my face into the shirt. As much as I’d pay for it later, his scent was like an addiction I’d been denied for too long. Tomorrow, I’d find somewhere else to stay. I wrapped the blankets over me and buried my nose into his pillow. Tomorrow.
* * *
I stood outside my bedroom window as flames engulfed the room, turning the night air warm against my skin. The smoke covered the ceiling in a billowing black cloud, and the wallpaper ignited. It was almost pretty watching from the outside as the room slowly descended into the inferno. I leaned in closer, following the rapidly growing flames as they caught the end of my comforter and quickly climbed over the bed. Startling blue eyes looked back at me through the window, and Marcus smiled at me, the smoke curling around his hair.No.I cried out and tugged on the window, screaming for help. It was locked in place, and no matter how many times I yelled at him to open it, he didn’t move, just smiled at me as the fire licked up his legs—-
My phone beeped beside me, pulling me out of the nightmare, and I took gasping breaths to calm my lungs. I’ve had some version of this dream several times a week since my brother died. It left me with an overwhelming sense of helplessness. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop it from happening. I always lost him.
I kept my eyes closed and ran through the script from my therapist. “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.” Deep breath. “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.” Deep breath. “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.” But that was a lie. It might not have been a fire, but Marcus was gone. I swallowed hard to stop a cry from escaping.
My phone beeped again, and I rolled over, grabbing it from my nightstand.
Anon13: Hey, just checking in. I had the best ice cream today. You’d freak, it was non dairy peanut butter, vanilla.
Me: Did you really wake me up to tell me about ice cream?
Anon13: In fairness it was pretty amazing.
I laughed, and some of the tightness loosened in my chest. He had an unnatural ability to message me at the perfect time.
Me: It does sound pretty amazing.
Anon13: Did I wake you? I didn’t expect an answer until the morning.
Me: Sorta but it’s a good thing.
Anon13: Another nightmare?
I’d told him all about my dreams when we’d first started talking. He always walked me through them and broke them down until they didn’t haunt me as much as they once had. I always knew I could write to him if I needed to. But tonight, I just wanted to let it all go.
Me: I’m fine now. Promise. Please drop it.
Anon13: I’m only letting this slide because you asked.
I released a breath and changed the subject.
Me: So how was your day?
