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The one who broke my heart.
Aware that I can’t ignore him forever, I reluctantly turn towards him. The fact that he’s clad in black from head to toe isn’t surprising, but the body hinted at under the attire I’ve resented for the past five years is.
“Castor, hi,” I force through a strained smile.
“When did you get back to town?” He asks, pointing at the chair across from me with a raised eyebrow to ask if he can sit. I nod reluctantly and he takes a seat, placing his coffee in front of him and wrapping his hands around the steaming mug.
“Yesterday.”
Goddess, he’s stunning. I was hoping that if I did have to see him again he’d have withered into some pathetic version of the boy I knew. Sadly, that is as far as possible from reality. He’s allowed his black hair to grow out on the top, and a few strands are falling forward and obscuring one of the darkest blue and most loving eyes I’ve ever seen. Eyes that are currently filled with longing. His shoulders, chest, and arms have filled out with muscle, and I have a feeling that he has to have his clothes tailored to fit his size.
“Your mom didn’t tell me you were coming when I saw her last week. Does she know?”
“Of course she does, I’m home to take care of her.” After the way things ended before I left for college, she’s the only thing that could bring me back to this Goddess forsaken town.
“Take care of her?”
My throat tightens with worry as I offer up a silent prayer to my Goddess for my mother’s health. “She was recently diagnosed with cancer. Sylvia has to keep running their business so they can afford her care, so I’ve come to help since I can work from anywhere. We’ll work together while she’s going through chemo to make sure someone can always help when needed. Treatment starts in a few weeks, so I’ve come early to help get the house ready and take her to all of her pre-treatment appointments.”
“I’m so incredibly sorry, Laur,” he tells me genuinely, reaching across the table to cover my hand with his. “Please, don’t hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to help.”
I pull my hand back from his and drop it to my lap, rubbing the skin he touched against my jeans in an attempt to remove the tingles his contact created. “We?” I laugh humorlessly. “I assume you mean the Reverant and the rest of the Shining Thrall?”
Pain fills his eyes at my rejection, and he smoothes down the buttons of his shirt before picking up his mug and taking a sip.
“Yes. Your mom has been coming to services more frequently recently, perhaps this is why. I would love for you come with her, it may bring her peace during this process.”
“So you really buy into all this shit now?” I scoff. “You disagreed with your father as much as I did, Cas, but to me it looks like you’re all in at this point. What changed?”
“You went off to college, and I was left here to take care of my dying mother. Between my father beating me down, constantly drilling into me that taking over when he retires is my destiny and my duty, and my mother begging me to fulfill the promise as her last dying wish? What else was I supposed to do, Laur?”
“Whatever was right for you!” I snap loudly, slamming my palms down on the table and making our drinks wobble. Lowering my voice and taking a deep breath, I continue. “You were supposed to come with me.” Conversations around us stop as people stare in judgment and confusion, no doubt thinking that I’m a devotee disrespecting her Cleric. He looks around and smiles, nodding to the members of his flock to assure them everything is fine. It probably doesn’t help that I wear mostly black clothes, both because it’s required by my own faith, but also as a fuck you to the Reverant and everything he stands for. It simply doesn’t do to have a follower look like they’re questioning a temple leader.
Cas sighs and sips his coffee before meeting my eyes. “I am sorry, Laurel.” He skates his gaze over the people surrounding us and drops the volume of his voice when he continues. “I know it doesn’t change anything that happened, but I do regret my choice. Every day. If I could do it all over again, I would have left with you.” With a final swallow of coffee he pushes back from the table and stands. Voice once again at normal volume, he slides the chair back into position at the table. “I’m glad you’re home, Laurel, and I’ll be praying for your mother. Please, bring her by any time. We’d love to have you at worship as well.”
With that, Castor Addamson turns away from me and walks out of the same door he used when he left me five years ago.
CHAPTER TWO
My moms are in the kitchen meal prepping when I get home, laughing and dancing while Stevie Nicks sings in the background. They met when I was two and I don’t remember a time in my life without Sylvia. I couldn’t pronounce her name when we met, so she became Silly, and it’s stuck ever since. She leans over to kiss my mom on her newly shaved head before noticing me standing in the threshold watching them.
“Hey sweetheart! You’re back early.”
I cross the room to hug both of them before grabbing a bottle of water from the cupboard and taking a seat at the counter. “Yeah, I had a surprising, and unwanted, guest.” I narrow my eyes at my mom as I take a sip from the bottle. “Cas said he looks forward to seeing you in worship, Mom. Thinks it would be great if I come too, to support you.”
“About that…” Mom has a weird combination of guilt and deviousness on her face.
I know that look.
That look means that shit is about to get real.
“Oh? You’re about to tell me why you’re attending worship at the temple that ruined my life, and is the opposite of everything we believe in?”
“I am,” she smirks. “Chill, bro.”
I can’t help but laugh. She only calls me bro when she’s feeling really good, and I have the feeling that those days will be few and far between in the near future. “Please, Mother. Do enlighten me.”
“When I learned about the cancer, Syl and I began praying to the Goddess more than ever. I went through all of the stages of grief, you know? I think I was in the bargaining phase when I made a bad joke. I said ‘Goddess, if you take this cancer from me I will do everything in my power to finally bring down the Reverant. I will work to replace his people’s love for him and his false God with knowledge and love for you. Maybe even kill his ass.’” She smiles serenely as Sylvia steps up behind her and wraps her up in a tight hug, resting her chin on mom’s shoulder. “It was crazy, hun. The second I finished talking, we both looked at each other and laughed, but the candles on the altar flickered in a progressive wave! It was just like the Breath of Promise in the temple.”
