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The brass oil lamp is the only light that provides me with the sight of his naked, muscular chest. His abs constrict with his heavy breathing, making my throat dry. My gaze skates up to his neck, then to his sharp jawline, covered with a five o’clock shadow. His lips are light pink, but I can’t control myself from imagining kissing them. And I wish I could see his ocean eyes that always sets an unknown calmness within me… they are a beacon of hope for me in this cave of darkness.
He is shrouded with scars and bruises, making his body look more rugged. He looks damaged and yet he is a sight to behold.
No, Aella. This is wrong. God won’t forgive you for it.
My sanity keeps reprimanding me as I look away. Silas is here for murdering his wife and another man. I even heard how he tortured his wife and cut her to pieces when he killed her, which made me wary of him. I remember the first time I heard him in the confessional as I sat behind the net wall. I could hear the loneliness in his voice. I could sense how broken he felt, yet there is a sadistic side to him that even he isn’t aware of.
I heard the light screeching sound of the wood chair as the next prisoner sat down. I took the file that sat beside me and went through it quickly. His name is Silas Frost, a 35 years old ex-oil tycoon. He is fifteen years older than me. The accusations that he killed his close friend and business partner, Liam, made headlines. His company faced losses and eventually shut down. At another prison, serving his sentence for murdering Liam, he escaped one night and killed his wife. No one knows why, but the conspiracies were endless. Because of his wife’s murder and Liam’s, he’s been sentenced to life imprisonment at Blackwell Prison.
I put away the file, sit back, and wait for him to speak.
He cleared his throat. “Um, I’m not a religious person, but I just want to get this over with. Uh…Forgive me, father, for I have sinned-”
“It’s not father. I’m a nun,” I corrected him. His voice was gruff and deep, but something about it sent shivers down my spine.
He was silent for a few minutes before I noticed his head facing my direction as he tried to get a peek at my face through the holes of the divider. “You aren’t supposed to see me. Tell me the sins you have committed. Let me help you absolve yourself from the guilt.”
I heard him chuckle which made me frown. This was my first time hearing a criminal chuckle at his own sins. “Why are you laughing?”
“You can’t help absolve me from the guilt that I don’t carry. I have no remorse for what I did,” he admitted. “I wouldn’t even call it a sin when I was trapped in it in the first place by the people I least expected from.”
“Are you saying you don’t feel guilty?” I ask him.
“I did murder my wife, but my close friend…I guess I will never know.” There was a hint of sadness in his tone, and my heart ached for him. “I never expected my life to turn out like this, but I’m only guilty about not making the right choices at the right time.”
The misery in his voice was clear as if he had lost hope for a better life. The thought made me feel sorry for him.
“Can I ask you something?” he questioned me.
“Yes.”
“Can I see you?”
My brows furrowed in confusion from his odd request. “Why?”
“I don’t know, but I have this urge to see the person who is brave enough to hear about my suppressed thoughts and the sins I committed. Not everyone is strong enough to hear others' misery and crimes.”
I swallowed, feeling my breathing turn shallow. I shouldn’t be doing this, yet I can’t help but get up and leave my side. “You may leave now.”
I heard him get up and push away the door of his side as we come face to face. I felt all the air leaving my lungs as I stared at him. But the way his heated gaze looked at me, top to bottom, made my cheeks flush. No one had ever looked at me in such a way. It was as if he was undressing me with his eyes. I could feel a sudden electricity between us that I wanted to explore.
I could also see that he felt the same on his face, but we both kept our secrets silent. Before he could say something, a knock on the door made me take a few steps back.
“It’s time for you to go,” I told him as I squirmed under his intense gaze.
He stood close to me, and I could feel his warm breath fanning my cheek as he whispered. “And here I thought this as a one-time thing. But now, I will be coming again and again,” he promised before walking past me with our hands touching each other for a fleeting moment. I gasped from his sudden touch as butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
Oh, God. He was the definition of sin and trouble.
He kept his promise. He visited every day while I started to feel something for him…something forbidden…something I should stop.
His soft grunts shift my gaze towards him, finding Silas waking up gradually.
His eyelids flutter open, he looks over at me, and a soft look passes his face when he sees me. My presence comforts him. I am in my habit, but a smirk pulls his lips, appreciating my appearance despite being covered.
“How are you feeling?” I whisper while avoiding his intense stare. Every time this man looks at me, my entire body tingles with forbidden sensations.
“Much better,” he rasps.
