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Chapter 11
Gabriele
I woke up with Kira in my arms. Her body was pressed up to my side, and her hair was sprawled on my shoulder. It felt too fucking good. Unbelievably good.
There was really no logic behind my feelings for Kira. There was no logic behind me dreaming of her for years and no logic behind the fact that I could burn this city down for her.
I wanted to give her everything because all her life, she was always forced to be the giver.
I wanted to collect every shattered piece of her soul and put it back together.
Yesterday night felt like I did just that. Maybe I should have controlled myself and left, but I wanted to give her this. I wanted to make her feel good. I wanted her to see how good sex could be. I wanted her to know how much her consent meant to me.
For the most part, I was bounded by my promises. I couldn’t touch her at the beginning, but it didn’t make it any less pleasurable. Seeing her be vulnerable with me and enjoy it was the biggest gift. I loved making her come with my tongue. I loved being the first person to make her come.
My hands slowly dove into her hair, playing with the red locks. She had amazing hair and amazing eyes, and an amazing body. I always remembered her beauty in my dreams, but after I kidnapped her, I started seeing other things too. Her smile was magnificent, and it was so precious because she didn’t flash it very often. I loved how she could find small things to enjoy, like yesterday. I loved that she was a people person. She seemed like she loved to talk and spend time with other people. Only she never had the chance to do that. She was not allowed to have friends.
My hand flexed against her scalp. They were going to pay for everything they stole from her. They were going to pay for pushing her to suicide.
Kira murmured something into my skin, and her eyes slowly opened. I was dying to see those pretty eyes, but I was also nervous. Everything had been great last night. We connected in such a deep, raw way. Both literally and figuratively.
It was the first time I had sex without a condom, and I didn’t feel any regret over it. It was also my first time sleeping with a woman in my arms after sex.
I got to wash her after we were done. I got to kiss every part of her face while she gave me sweet giggles and breathy laughs. I got to have a glimpse of a future I was probably never going to have. I got to act like she was mine, and this was forever.
She was happy. She seemed happy. But even though I hated admitting it, she was broken, and it affected her head. Sex was a different term in her head than mine. I tried my best to show her my look at things, but I knew it would take time.
So, in the end, I was terrified that she was going to regret it. It would kill me to see hurt in her eyes. I hoped it wasn’t the case, and she was going to be as happy as she was when I carried her to bed last night. She would just kiss my nose in a sweet way and snuggle up to my chest just like she did last night.
When her eyes opened, she yawned lazily and then looked up at me.Smile at me, darling, I prayed,don’t regret it.
And thank God she did. She smiled a sleepy smile, “Hey, you.”
“Hey,” I whispered, tracing her cheek. No one had a right to be this beautiful. “Did you sleep well?”
She nodded and then put her hand on the bed and raised, looking down at me. As her sleepiness disappeared, her cheeks turned a little pink, matching her freckles, and I wanted to kiss it so much. “I can’t believe we did that. I can’t believe it was so good.”
God, how much those words filled me with relief. She was not regretting last night. She was mesmerized by it. I wanted to assure her that it was going to be like this every time. I got on my elbows to be closer to her and brushed away a wayward red strand away. “Sex is a beautiful thing, Kira.”
She bit her lip. “But you know for me…”
I kissed her to eat up her words. I didn’t want to hear it. My kiss was nothing more than a brush of my lips against her lips because I didn’t want to kiss her before asking for permission, but it still did the job. It stopped her words. “No,” I whispered into her lips when I pulled back. “You didn’t know how it was, Kira. You never had sex before.”
I wanted to remind her of my words because they were true. Rape was not sex. It didn’t count. The only thing that counted was what we did. The only thing that counted was the one Kira wanted and not forced.
She smiled that sweet smile again like she couldn’t believe how good everything was. Her head was messed up, but she was seeing everything clearer slowly, and she was loving everything. I hoped in the end, it would be enough to keep her alive.
“Gabriele,” she whispered, and my name sounded like a prayer on her tongue.
“Yes, Kira?”
She flushed again but didn’t look away. “Can you kiss me? Like just kiss me? I have never beenjustkissed.”
My heart hurt, but I didn’t pay attention. I had to focus on Kira. I had to focus on making her feel good. I needed to show her wanting to be just kissed was okay.
So, I kissed her.
I would kiss her until my dying breath if she wanted me to.
