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Still, I didn’t want to talk about this further. “Interesting,” I murmured to myself. “It is nice that you are very close with your family, though. We have a very similar situation, but I am only close with Gabriele.”
He easily followed my change of topic. “Similar? Do you mean we are both parts of two brothers, one sister siblings?”
I shook my head. “I have three brothers.Gioeleis nine years old. Also, no, I meant similar because Mia has a different mother than you. I have a different mother than Gabriele and Michele.”
He seemed a little surprised at that. “You have a better knowledge about family relations.”
His confused face now looked funny, so I laughed, bringing that shimmer into his eyes. “You are not used to people knowing more than you, right?”
“To be honest, yes. I wish I had learned more about your family.”
“No need, I can tell you.” I turned towards him. He was leaning to the hood, and now we were really close. “My father had Michele and Gabriele from his first marriage. Their mother had some lung disease, so she died when Gabriele was six. Then our father married my mother, who was too young for him and had Gioele and me. Michele hates both of us like we are the murderers of his mother. Gabriele is good, though. He is a great big brother.” I looked up and down at Antonio. “I am sure your siblings will say the same about you.”
He nodded. “They probably will.” If any other person said that, they would sound arrogant, but Antonio was not arrogant. He was just honest. He was really all logic.
More ice than man.
I could melt that ice.
“We don’t have bad blood between us,” he explained. “Alessio and I accepted Pippa as our mother.”
“How did your mother die?” I asked and saw some pain in his eyes at the question. I would have asked it in a softer voice, but I didn’t think anything could hurt him, especially after what he said about emotions. Clearly, it was different when it came to his mother.
Or I was just imagining.
He quickly gathered his cold expression. “She was sick too. Dad knew when he married her. He knew they didn’t have much time, but he was in love. Despite everything, he married her and built a family. She always had so much love to give. Then she died of a heart attack. Dad always says she had a fragile heart, both physically and emotionally.”
I couldn’t help it. He didn’t need to get sad. He could be as emotionless as he wanted. I still felt the need to comfort him. I reached out and held his hand. “I am so sorry. She sounds amazing.”Why don’t you have any love when your mother had so much of it?
He turned to me and gave me a thankful smile. It was fake. I have never seen him smile a genuine smile. “Where is your mom? You said she was young.”
Fuck. Why didn’t I realize he was going to ask about my mother? I shouldn’t have talked about family. I was so distracted by everything he told me about himself.
I must have had a terrorized expression on my face because Antonio put his other hand on top of mine and squeezed. “You don’t have to tell me.”
I looked up at him with huge eyes. Normally I would have just thanked him and moved on. I didn’t like talking about my mother. Not this time, though. I wanted to share with him. I wanted to give him feelings. I wanted him bound to me. I needed it.
So, I shook my head. “It is okay. It is not that bad.” Yet my chest tightened uncomfortably. “Like I said, she was young, and she never wanted to be a wife or a mother. She was not a good one. After dad’s death, my uncle wanted her to marry again. I talked to Gabriele, and he promised me he was not going to push her.” I looked down to hide my glossy eyes and trembling chin. I hated my body’s reaction to this. “Before I could tell her, she killed herself.” Tears fell, and my voice cracked. Gioele found her in the bathtub. It was probably the reason Antonio didn’t know about my little brother. He was so traumatized after that, so we kind of hid him.
Antonio stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest. His body was so comforting. My tears were dripping to his shirt. I was not sobbing, but I wanted to stay glued to his chest until my tears dried. I wanted to stay here listening to his chest because it reminded me he was not really heartless.
“I am sorry, Priscilla,” he said, caressing my hair.
I snorted sadly and pulled back a little to look at him. I couldn’t let him go completely. Touching him calmed me. Touching him made me happy. I wanted him to be happy to touch me too. I wanted him to feel. “Are you really sorry?” I asked with a sad smile.
“This is the closest I feel to sadness,” he said with that stone expression. He cupped my cheek. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It is all wrong.”
I knew he was telling the truth. His blankness didn’t bother me. It only made me trust him. I was probably a stupid girl, but butterflies set free on my stomach. I liked that my sadness made him sad too. I liked that I could affect him.
“And what is right?” I asked with a normal voice. The pain of the past didn’t matter. I wanted to stay here with him.
His lips twitched, and it made me happier than a smile because his smiles were fake.Thiswas real. He brushed his thumb to my bottom lip. “Your smiles are right. You should be happy. You shine when you are happy. I want you to shine.”
I didn’t think before talking. My heart was beating so fast, and I was all consumed by him. “You can make me shine.”You can erase my pain. With you, I don’t have to pretend. With you, I can be happy all the time.
He cupped both of my cheeks and pressed his forehead to mine. “Tell me something good about your family. Not like your mom. Tell me something that makes you shine.” He was so steady, so strong.
I only thought for a second because it was too easy. I had people in my life that put a smile on my face immediately. I told him my favorite. “Adrian.”
