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He moved a few more times and then didn’t more for a while. His breaths were regulated. That was when I actually closed my eyes, but even like this, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow. I tried to visualize my future. I thought about every horrible thing that could happen to me. My body was rigid, and I was not comfortable at all, but I still couldn’t dare move. It was horrible.
Just when I exhaled in frustration, an amused voice filled the dark room. “You suck at pretending to be sleep, Kitty.”
Fuck. I gritted my teeth. “And you are disgustingly good at it, I guess.”
“I am,” he said, and I felt him roll over to face my back. “Why can’t you sleep?”
Was he even real? “You ask like I have zero reasons to lose sleep over.”
“You do have many reasons, but you also have me. I am more annoying than all of them. You don’t have to worry.”
I let myself smile just for a second because he was not able to see me. “Unfortunately, you cannot make them disappear. Not now, at least.” I hoped he could do it in the future. I really wanted to be able to sleep peacefully at some point in my life.
His voice dropped lower as he answered, “Maybe I can make you forget them, though.”
I felt goosebumps all over my body, but I was not going to step back from my decision, so I didn’t let him see. I put on my icy expression and turned to him. “Using my problems to fuck me, huh? How very not manipulative of you.”
He didn’t seem offended at all. “I didn’t say anything about fucking, Kitty.”
“Yeah, I am sure you were referring to your mind-controlling abilities.”
“I can touch you without fucking you, Luciana,” he said, and I had to flex my whole body not to shiver at how he said my name. “I can make you breathless like I did when I was bandaging your foot, or I can make you forget everything like I did today with the kiss.”
I was no stranger to sex. I had it a lot and with many different men. I was not starved for it, but Valerio was just different. He made me feel like a goddess deserving of worship. His touch made me feel so much. My logic couldn’t find a reason. This was what they called chemistry, and to my luck, I had it best with Valerio.
It was frustrating, like every other thing about him.
“So, you just want to kiss me?” I asked. I also kept repeating in my head why I shouldn’t let him fuck me and why that was the worst idea.
“I do,” Valerio accepted. He propped himself up with his arm and leaned over me to get our faces closer. The tip of his nose touched mine, and his breath moved over my lips. “I want to kiss you in many places.”
I swallowed thickly and thanked the darkness for hiding my lust. “Only kiss?”
He chuckled and softly touched his lips to mine, not even a peck. Then he licked my lips. “Maybe also lick,” he murmured. “Or even bite.”
I moved my face before he could bite my lips because I knew I would love it way too much. Soft teases were good, but I could take them. What I actually loved was harder, rougher. I didn’t know how to stay strong against that.
But I had to because, with men, kisses were never just kisses. They always had an ulterior motive, and usually, those ended up hurting me. That’s why I always had to have control. I could not give it up.
No sex was worth getting hurt that badly.
Valerio’s lips moved to my ear since my head was turned away from him now. My body was still half under him, though. “Don’t you want that, Kitty?”
Fuck it, I wanted it, but I was not gonna let him win. Without thinking, I buried my hand in Valerio’s hair and pulled the blond strands roughly. Now his head was tilted back, his mouth open in surprise, and his eyes on me full of heat. “Do you want to eat me out?” I asked boldly.
“So much.”
“I won’t fuck you afterward.”
He smiled. “I don’t expect you to.”
“I also won’t return the favor.”
“That is okay.”
I gritted my teeth. I hated how easy he made it for me. I didn’t want to let go, but I was so wet and needy. I wanted him to make me come. I wanted his tongue between my thighs. That was okay. I would still have the power. It would be about my pleasure and not his. I would be okay with that, but I had to make sure that was all of it.
“So you want to make me come even though I will leave you with blue balls.”
