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Tommaso told us to stay the night. I accepted with good grace. Also, Elsie was having fun, and I didn’t want to take her back to my father’s house so soon. Tommaso also said he was going to make our father know that Elsie was going to stay here tonight. He promised she was going to have more sleepovers here while I was away. I hoped he would keep his promise.
When I put Elsie into bed, Valerio came into the room, and I asked him. “Will you be able to sleep here?”
He smiled, sitting next to me on the bed. “I will sleep with one eye open, but I will sleep.”
“Good,” I said. All the feelings I had while I was talking to Sofia came back. I stretched and kissed his lips. Valerio kissed me back.
It was a short soft kiss.
He smiled when I pulled back. “What was that for?”
I felt shy for a second and looked away. I shrugged as I said, “I just felt like it.”
Valerio’s fingers came to my chin, and I turned my head towards him. Then he kissed me once more. This time it was longer, and his hand was on my waist. When his lips left mine, he whispered over them, “I hope you will feel like that more.”
Chapter 26
Luciana
“I am going to tell him.”
My mother stopped her chopping and looked at me with eyes full of fear. It was our last night here, and she insisted we come for dinner. She also insisted I’ll help her and learn something to feed my husband. We were chopping vegetables together. That was the moment I decided to tell her.
I didn’t even know why I told her, but I guess I wanted to tell someone. I just wanted to tell my mom. Despite all her flaws, she was still my mom. I trusted her even though I couldn’t trust Valerio.
It was weird. I knew it was illogical, too, but those words had already left my mouth.
“Valerio?” my mom asked, her voice carrying the terror in her eyes.
“Yes. I am going to tell him the truth.” I hesitated before saying the next bit. “I trust him to be on my side.” I couldn’t say that I trusted him fully, but we were a team.
My mother put the knife on the counter and moved towards me. She whispered after looking around. “Have you gone mad, Mija? Do you hear what you are saying?”
“Yes,” I said harshly. “He is different. He didn’t care I was not a virgin. He accepts me as I am. He will accept this too.”
“No, no. Mija, this is different. Yes, it is frowned upon, but there are men in our world who will marry an impure woman. However, this is different. That was your past, but this is not just your past. How can you expect him to accept your present and future? It is something that even outsider men might have a problem with. Your husband would not accept it.”
She was telling me everything I had thought about before Sofia talked to me. She gave me hope, but my mother’s words were not too far-fetched at all.
“He is different,” I said with another attempt.
“He is not!” my mother said. I have never heard her raise her voice this much. I was pretty much frozen in front of her. “He is a powerful man, mija. He wants things of his own. Now you are his woman, and he doesn’t care about your past, but he won’t accept this. He won’t want another man’s leftovers.”
I raised my finger at her. “Don’t…”
“Shush,” she made me stop. “You know I am telling the truth. It is how he is going to view things. Even if he accepts this, his family won’t. They will blame you. If you tell him, things are not going to get better, Luciana. He is making you happy now. I can see that. Just keep things as they are. I want you to be happy.”
Tears filled my eyes. “If I don’t tell him the truth, I cannot be happy forever, Mom. It will break me slowly, day by day.”
My mother’s face didn’t even soften. “It is our destiny in this life, Luciana. We take all the happiness we can reach. We smile despite the pain. We just keep living, and we keep living as long as we are smart. Trusting a man is never smart, mija. You were hurt once because of your heart. Don’t do it again. He might be your husband, but he is not going to be your lover.”
I wanted to answer her, but no words came out. I couldn’t go against anything she said. It was all truths. The comfort gave me hope, and hope made me stupid.
I stood there with tears in my eyes and tears on my cheeks as my mother cooked. I looked straight ahead and realized I had to fix this. I couldn’t let my heart rule me again. I had to make sure Valerio was going to stop making me fall for him. I would make another plan in the future, but I had to fix things right now.
I had to break my heart by breaking his so I wouldn’t make any more mistakes.
Chapter 27
