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The whisper was a voice I knew only from my dreams, the only place it existed anymore. I’d lost memory of the sound years ago. I knew once I came out of this stupor, trying to even remember my name upon her lips would simply be a garbled mess in my mind. I wanted to live forever in my memory but knew that I couldn’t. Maybe for a little while, but not forever.
Azula.
I closed my eyes against the swirling colors that flitted around me and in front of my eyes.
Laughter echoed in my ears, a giggle from when we had run through the field holding hands together. She’d shown me how to heal and taught me how to cook meager things like pasta. I couldn’t remember how warm her hugs were, even when I drank or smoked anything. I couldn’t remember how it felt to have her hold my hand. The absence of her grip on me was always noted and made me feel like I was missing something.
My name was called again, distant this time and not on my mother’s lips. Which meant somebody had entered my memories without permission. Aggravation grew hot inside of me, burning my insides. I didn’t respond. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My lips were numb, and a small part inside me was convinced they didn’t exist anymore. There it was again, my name and a pounding in the background, a little bit off in the distance. My eyes flickered open, and I stared up at the ceiling. It wavered but righted itself out for just a moment.
“Azula?” I knew the voice, but in my stupor, I couldn’t figure out exactly who it belonged to. The person rapped on my front door, harder this time.
The pounding tore through my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight to try and push the sound away. The voice spoke again, but I couldn’t decipher the words this time. I didn’t want to, though. I just wanted to forget everything for the time being. I longed to pretend that the world didn’t exist anymore.
ChapterTen
“Who is she?” the girl huffed, crossing her arms as she glowered at Mallory when we entered.
I rolled my eyes as I set my bag down. “She’s my apprentice,” I huffed, beckoning for Mallory to draw closer. “I’m teaching her all I know.”
Jeneva narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips. She was always a stubborn patient. Slowly, she sat down in her rigid table chair, her arms still folded tightly over her chest. “Why?”
“Because she’s my apprentice,” I repeated, knowing full well my tone sounded clipped.
These people tended to ask for me specifically. If they wanted me, they’d deal with whoever I dragged along. Then again, I didn’t often drag people along. This was a first, but I’d promised Timothy, so here I was – keeping that promise. Maybe if I gave Mallory enough secrets, I could disappear into the trees or run off or let her take over completely. That was a dream, wasn’t it?
“Now, where is the issue?” I asked, eyeing her.
The girl didn’t seem to be in pain or have any gushing wounds visible to the naked eye. But I knew there was something. I could smell the sulfur in the air – the clear sign that something was being hidden. I didn’t comment on that and could only hope that Mallory followed my lead.
“Well, I’ll show you,” Jeneva said slowly, eyeing Mallory again, as if she wasn’t sure if she could trust her or not.
I didn’t comment; there was no point. Mallory was going to stay whether Jeneva liked it or not. I just knew that after I left, word would get around town. Who cared, though? We were allowed to take on apprentices, people we’d eventually pass our torches on. Sure, it usually resulted in offspring and not always others outside of the immediate family. But everyone knew that I was with Timothy, and Mallory was his younger sister. If anything, they’d chalk it up to me being a good girlfriend by taking his sister under my wing. Or getting into the family’s good graces by doing so to get a ring on my finger. People’s ways of coming up with stories were astoundingly impressive. Part of me was actually looking forward to seeing what the gossiping women of the village would come up with as an explanation.
Jeneva stood still, eyeing Mallory, but reached down and pulled her shirt up. It wasn’t the first time I had seen the wound, but Mallory reacted just as I’d done the first. She sucked in a sharp breath, choking on air. I didn’t turn and chastise her. Instead, just like my grandmother had done to me, I ignored her reaction. Jeneva was one of the older generations, not by much compared to me, but enough to make a decent difference between the two of us. Our village was not the first, second, or even third home of her life. I enjoyed having her as a patient only because she told me stories of her travels, of the places she’d settled and lived for a while. Here was her last stop, which she always told me.
Jeneva was one of very few who encouraged me to not settle so easily, to not let myself be trapped in a world where I would just be like all the others. She wanted me to travel and experience life the way she’d had. I wanted that so badly. Dad thought Jeneva was a bad influence, but money was money, and I wasn’t going to deny her because Daddy didn’t want me around her. Besides, I was an adult now. He couldn’t tell me who I could and couldn’t take on.
Still, Jeneva was wary of new people – proven by the way she acted with Mallory. She was well-traveled, but that didn’t mean she was accepting of just anybody. She had secrets hidden that she was protective of, not that I blamed her. I would be, too, if I were in her situation.
“It’s opened again,” I commented with the click of my tongue to the roof of my mouth. “you haven’t been doing any extraneous, have you?”
Her face twisted, lines creasing over her otherwise flawless face. That was the only answer I needed. The downside of all her traveling and hopping from village to village was that she was alone. That was the part I didn’t necessarily want to end with. I wanted to travel, to go places, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to settle down. I just didn’t want to do that very thing now, that was all. Which was more complicated than it sounded like.
“What—” Mallory choked on her words, trying to piece them together.
Turning to face her, I blocked the sight of the wound for the moment. “You’ll have to deal with a lot worse later on. So close your eyes and get over it.”
Those were my grandmother’s words, but I didn’t care. It was how she’d taught me and how I’d teach Mallory. I couldn’t coddle her, not with a job like this. As much as I wanted to escape this, I knew how vital it was to jump in headfirst and deal with what came. If you were squeamish even in the slightest, there was no point in sticking around. I had to clarify that to Mallory, no matter what it took.
Mallory swallowed but nodded, standing in place. She was a tough girl, but I couldn’t help but wonder how much it would take to push her over the edge.
When mom had been around, I’d been privy to even the worst back then, at the early age of five. I knew the ins and outs; it hadn’t bothered me in a long time. Sometimes I even questioned myself, wondering if there would ever be anything to tip me over the edge. But so far – nothing had made me jump.
The cut was thick and long, diagonal from the bottom leg rib to the right abdominal hip stretch. It didn’t matter how many spells I put on it, how much paste was made, or even how much healing I did to it. It always came back. Hexed, perhaps, but certainly something.
“Go ahead and lie down,” I instructed her, though there really was no need.
She knew what to do. My grandmother had been taking care of her before I took over. Jeneva stood and moved down to lie on the ground, her shirt hoisted right beneath her breasts, giving a clear view of the cut. It opened up, showing deep. Getting to my knees, I beckoned for Mallory to follow suit and pulled my bag in front of me. Laying my hands over her stomach and the wound, I let out a slow breath of air and let the magic seep down to the tips of my fingers. Closing my eyes, I let myself feel the magic before pushing it down, slathering it all over the wound. The gash glowed white, and Jeneva sucked in air, her body tightening.
