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“Exactly, you are too young to be with me. I think that's the only obvious reason here. I am 44. How can that possibly be? Also, what will people say? Do you know what it would feel like? You could be my child, and my son is also 17! You’re pretty much mates and you still want me? There are just so many reasons why you need to kill those attractions. We don’t fit.”
“But all these don't matter.”
“They do a lot. Besides, I don't want to offend your aunty and her best friend who happens to be my sister. It is going to be messy Claire."
“But …..”
“Go home and sleep, child.”
She frowned and glared at me. I knew she was probably infuriated by what I called her "child”. But then that's what she was, a child. Eventually, she will get over me and they will all be fine. In the meantime, I was ready to take all the heat and anger from her side. Maybe if she was a bit older, maybe if she had shown up years earlier. Love was the last thing on my mind and even if I wanted to, not a young girl.
Turning her down took a whole lot of integrity and strength and I knew many men my age who would jump at the such opportunity because she is a beauty to behold. Her dimples were enough to make a man lose his sense.
I saw her eyes burn with tears, but she fought hard against them and kept a straight face. She was strong-willed, I could tell, and also defiant.
“I'm sorry Claire but that's the reality of things.”
She was mute, but she walked past me and walked out my door without saying a word. She didn't look back too, but I could tell she was hurt.
Isn't it better she was hurt now?
Still confused, I went back into my living room. Did Claire the teenage girl I used to know, the girl I watched blossom, just approach me?
She was hot and enticing, but that was a no-go area. I had my reputation to protect and most importantly, I wasn't ready to fall in love with anyone again. And not a young girl. Briefly, I thought of the possibility of actually dating her and it looked good. However, I knew reality was more ideal.
If she was that young, then it didn’t make sense. My 17-year-old son was enough proof that nothing was supposed to happen between us, and I liked that. My self-respect had to remain as intact as possible.
Later that evening Will came home from school. He was less chatty than usual, so I knew something was wrong. He looked defeated, like he'd lost a bout or something.
“You good, son?”
Will looked at me and looked away again. It seemed heavy on his chest from the looks of it.
“I lost a basketball game today, Dad. I scored the highest points personally but the team lost. I had no help, and then got jeered at. It was so embarrassing Dad!” he said, fighting back tears. I knew Will. He hated to lose anything, either it was family, relationships and competitions. He was like me, and I was just beginning to accept. I also hated to lose.
“Come here, son. You’re a winner, okay? Nothing changes that, no matter what!” I said holding his head. Sometimes, I felt like his coach. A sports coach or a life coach. More like a hybrid.
After our conversation that night, I allowed Will to play on his PlayStation 5 so he could feel like a winner again. I usually kept it away from him till holiday, but that day, he deserved to be cut some slack.
Chapter Five
Claire
Therageinsidemewas too much for me to handle. He had called me a child! Like! A child! I was very angry.
I wondered what made him call me a child. Was it my dress, demeanor, or just because he knew my age? I hated his face so much already, although I knew it was more ironic than not. He was too cute to be hated.
I decided I was going to improve. It took me a lot to tell him how I felt, so when he turned me down, it was devastating. My feelings were hurt, but I was more resilient than you would think. I was going to get him, some way or somehow. And even if I didn’t, I was going to make him regret it.
The funny thing about it was that I could not get the scene out of my head. The fact that he turned me down made me think about it so much till it became anger on my side. At that moment, I was annoyed at him.
I didn’t want to lay low, so I went on Google to see how I could look more desirable to men in general. One point I held onto tightly was my change of wardrobe. I made a resolve to change my clothes and nobody could stop me. The embarrassment that I held within could not allow me to stay that way.
I remembered a boutique one of my friends had recommended to me. The boutique had beautiful clothes and offered a huge upgrade in personality, and that was what I wanted. I gathered up some money from my savings and planned to get clothes later that day.
I went out one day to see some people. On my way back, I stopped by my aunt's place to say hello to her, hoping to meet Jonah there through a slice of luck. The funny part is that I met him there checking out her aunt’s pipes to be sure he had done a good job with them.
Jonah noticed me coming behind him and stared straight without looking in my direction. He had come to the house intending to check out pipes, and he had probably hoped not to meet me there either. Unfortunately, it didn’t go as he had wanted.
