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“Oh, yes…oh, fuck, yes…”
“Give it to me,” I say as he thrusts hard into me. “Oh, yes. Oh, Jack. Oh, yeesss.” I scream over and over until I see stars. He lets out a loud moan and I feel him explode inside of me.
“Oh god, Sarah.” He says breathily.
“I know.” I breathe, and my body is more relaxed than ever before.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Jack.”
Jack sleeps comfortably on the bed next to me with the fan blowing on both of us. I toss and turn, unable to sleep. I’m exhausted and annoyed that I’m the one who has to carry this baby, while he’s off in La La Land.
I sigh and punch my pillow. My pregnancy hormones are broiling, and I’m getting angry.
The blowing of the fan isn’t helping, and the sound is annoyingly obnoxious.
Why would Jack care if I’m uncomfortable? This is his house and his room. We’re only together for the baby.
Screw it, I think and take myself to the living room to binge-watch my latest Netflix series. But my mind isn’t letting me even sit in peace. I’m too antsy.
And then the overthinking cycle starts again. I start to think that the only reason I’m sharing a bed with him because my doctor is worried about the pregnancy. Jack is only with me as my baby’s father.
Then, what am I even doing? Why am I worried about making a place in his life and having him adjust his lifestyle for me? Why? There were many unanswered questions about why I felt this way. But I have no answers.
This house, this place, and this routine are all new to me. I’m out of my comfort zone here. I crave my own bed in my own apartment.
I look at my phone, desperately needing to talk to someone other than Jack. I need to rant.
Should I text Jennie? It’s late, but I’m desperate.
Hey…are you up?I text her.
After a while, she replies;I am now. What’s up?
I think I’m losing my shit,I reply.
Within a minute, my phone started ringing, and it was Jennie.
“What’s wrong?” she asks as soon as I pick up the phone.
“I don’t know. I think…I think I might be going crazy here,” I say to her. “I mean, things are going so good with Jack and everything. We’re getting along and he’s really taking good care of me.”
“So, what’s the problem? It sounds like he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing.”
“I don’t know. I just…I can’t believe that this is real, I guess. Is he really here for me? Would he be here if I wasn’t pregnant? What happens after the baby is born?”
“Sarah, calm down, okay? It’s not like you don’t know Jack. He’s not a stranger to you. You used to be in love with him.”
“Yeah, I know, and all that’s making it worse,” I say.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m just… I mean, we know all about each other’s pasts and—”
“Sarah… Is he being a neglectful asshole again?” she asks.
“No. Surprisingly, he’s actually the opposite now.”
