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She sniffles. “You think I don’t know he’s out there living it up, knowing he can’t be touched? That’s not something I can forget.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, resting my head in my hands. I’ve never had to hold back this devil inside me before. The life I lead doesn’t require it. I’m not quick to kill, but beating someone’s ass can be just as satisfying. If the crime fits the punishment, though, I’ll tie my ropes around someone’s throat, watch the life in their eyes die, and an hour later, sleep like a fucking baby.
This is the first time I’ve been put in this situation, and I’m failing.
“I get that, but the only reason he came here tonight is because he knows what it’s doing to us and wanted to rub in our faces.”
“So? Let him. I booked that party, so I know for certain those men out there are loaded. They plan to drop a lot of cash on those girls. We don’t get to take that away just because we have a grudge against that asshole.”
I shake my head. “Fuck the money, Navy. I’d set a match to this place right now if it meant you felt safe outside these doors.”
“It won’t. The only thing that’ll make me feel safe is leaving Reno. After seeing Ray, I think I should go sooner than later.”
My gaze slowly lifts, disbelieving what I’m hearing. “What?”
“It’s time. I feel stronger now, and Danielle said I can continue my sessions when I get to Henderson.”
She hasn’t mentioned leaving in a while, definitely not since we started fooling around. I guess I assumed she was over that stupid idea.
“What about us?”
She steps between my legs, resting her hands on my shoulders. “I love you. I always have, but I can’t stay here.”
“This isn’t forever. I just need more time to figure out how to pay off the Costa assholes. After that, Ray won’t be a problem.”
Her shoulders sink. “Ray is only part of the problem. I have so many bad memories, and I could ignore them while I was in this happy little bubble, but—”
“But then he showed up tonight, and now it’s tainted here, too.”
“Exactly. I need a fresh start, Rigger.”
No, this can’t be happening. I can’t let it. I’ll lock her inside this room before I let her walk away from me. Maybe I deserve to be left alone after what I’ve done to her, but I’m a selfish prick and will do what it takes to keep her in my life.
I stand, feeling a fresh wave of anxiety. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, the fuck it is. Moving away won’t evict the memories from your mind.”
“I know that, but it’ll be easier to forget.”
“Will it?” I ask.
“It’s not just that. I need to do something with my life and not just get handed pity jobs to work at and pity rooms to sleep in.”
I pinch between my eyes. “You think all this is pity?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Maybe it started as a way for me to keep you from fucking strangers, but do you think for one second that Mary would’ve kept you around if you weren’t doing a good job?”
“This wasn’t even a position you were hiring for,” she argues.
“We had no idea how much of a success this place would be and how many employees we’d need, and babe, a lot of that success is due to you. You came around at the perfect time.” I take her hand, feeling like I’m fighting for my fucking life right now because that’s what she’s become, my life. “Mary’s old school and doesn’t consider things like an interactive website and online booking. Sixty percent of our business is coming from that, not to mention this whole high roller experience.”
She chews on the inside of her mouth, deciding whether I’m blowing smoke up her ass.
“You’re a part of this, and we’ll suffer without you.I’llsuffer without you.” I stroke my thumb over the cheek she’s abusing. “I’m just asking for a shot here. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll move you wherever you want to go myself.”
