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His face is beet red. “Yeah, but maybe clue me in before you drop the bomb.”
Feeling butterflies taking flight in my tummy, I look down at the white tablecloth. “What do you think about what I said?”
“If you’re asking if I want to, the answer is hell yes. Just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I appreciate that, and I think I am.” I sit on my hands, which are getting cold from the drop in temperature now that the sun has set. “But I thought of a way to do it that might be less triggering and more fun.”
Rigger sighs. “What bullshit are you up to now?”
“It’s not bullshit. I just thought that every time I’ve donethat, it’s been in a bed, so it might be a little easier for me if we weren’t. . . in a bed at first.”
“I’m not following.”
“The experience rooms. They’re not all used at the same time, and I thought if there’s a free one, maybe we could use it.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He looks like a fish, his mouth gaping two or three times before saying something. “Don’t know what I was expecting, but that wasn’t it.”
I’m sure I’m blushing at this point. “What do you think?”
“You know everyone in that place will know exactly what we’re getting up to, right?”
“Does that bother you?”
“Hell no, it doesn’t bother me. I’d take you to the Nature Room right now and let those motherfuckers watch.”
I smile. “Maybe we can skip that room.”
“Whatever you want, babe. I’d do anything for you.”
With a smile, I stand, gathering my bag. “Then let’s go.”
“Right now?” He gets up and slings an arm around my shoulders. “My girl is needy. Can’t have that.”
I’m slightly anxious but mostly excited as we ride back to the Honey Pot. Nerves have me questioning if I made the right choice, but I focus on the man I’m holding onto, and I know it’ll be okay. Through years of conditioning, the world has taught me people cannot be trusted. That they’ll always let you down and use you for whatever they want. Rigger has proven that assumption wrong, though.
Once we reach our destination, Rigger helps me off the bike and walks me to my room. “You get ready, and I’ll be back in five.”
I narrow my eyes. “Where are you going?”
“I’m finding out which room is free right now and not booked later.”
“Oh, right.” I fidget with the hem of my shirt.
“We don’t have to do—”
“No. I want to. I promise.”
He kisses all my fears away, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and surrounding me with his scent and body heat until all I can think about is him. He didn’t know I needed to be grounded, but he does it anyway.
“I’ll be right back,” he says in a low tone, pecking me on the lips one more time before beelining it out the door.
I’m antsy as I feed my frogs, take my pills, and fret over what to wear. The jeans I’m wearing are tight and will be a bitch to get off in the heat of the moment, so they have to go. Maybe a dress? That feels too formal. I pull out another of my matching sets, soft shorts and a cropped sweatshirt. It’s kind of cute and definitely comfortable. It’s not like I’ll be dressed for long, and I can make my panties and bra sexy. He’ll see more of that than anything.
I quickly change, brush my teeth, and smooth some flyaways from wearing a helmet. I step side-to-side in front of the mirror, giving myself a pep talk.
“This is going to be good. Rigger is kind—I mean, not to other people, but he is to you, and that’s what counts. Plus, he’ll stop if you need him to.” I point at my reflection. “But you won’t need him to. Remember what Danielle said. What Ray did was a crime. What you’re doing with Rigger is engaging in love and intimacy.”
I bend in half, groaning. Why is this so difficult?
