AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The tension pulls taut between us. I want her full attention now, and judging by the look on her face, I have it.
Jessa opens her mouth to respond, but her words catch in her throat, and she clears it while she nods instead.
When I return from the kitchenette and hand her a bottle, I’m met with a kind thanks and an awkward silence.
She’s trying hard not to look around the room as she shifts on her feet.
Our rooms are simple.
We aren’t here on vacation.
My quarters consist of one main room, which is also my bedroom. There’s a small kitchen to one side and a bathroom. The space is large, but I only have my bed and a table to eat on that doubles as a desk and a dresser.
It isn’t lost on me that Jessa is still near the front door. When she finally does take in the room around her, her eyes linger on my bed for a moment before she returns her attention to me.
“Have a seat, Jessa. We need to talk.” At my last word, her shoulders sag.
I think I know what she was hoping for. There’s nothing I’d like more than a repeat of last night, but we need to take a couple of steps back and begin again by creating a foundation, and that will be done with words, trust, and respect.
Her steps to the bed are rigid. Her guard is going up, and I need to tread lightly. There are a whole host of issues I could talk to her about right now, but most of them will probably get me nowhere, and I can’t risk her shutting down on me.
As I search her cues for a good place to start, it dawns on me that I need to start with myself.
How can I ask for her trust when everything outside of my feelings for her was a lie? How can I expect her to tell me the truth without granting her the same courtesy?
I grab a chair from the corner of the room and seat myself directly in front of her. Then I lean forward until our eyes are at the same level. “What do you want to ask me?”
She pulls back a few inches in surprise. “What?”
I know she heard me.
She just wasn’t ready for my question to be in her favor.
“Ten years is a long time, Jessa. I think it’s clear there are still feelings between us.” At my insinuation, her cheeks flush red. “A lot has happened, and I know you have questions, so I’ll make you a deal. I will grant you complete honesty wherever I can, and I ask the same of you. We—”
Before I get my next sentence out, her body stiffens. She’s preparing herself to fight me on the subject, so I switch gears.
Raising my hand to request her silence, I continue, “The deal is, we will be honest with each other. I think you’ll find I want to be open with you. When you don’t want to answer, I only ask that you tell me, so we are still being honest with each other.”
She takes a long minute to consider. In that time, her eyes never leave my face. Shifting between looking into my eyes and scanning the rest of my features, she observes me in excruciating silence.
Tilting her head down and moving her eyes to her lap, she nods silently, indicating that she is willing to try. My chest swells with hope that she’s chosen to trust me knowing what is at stake.
Wasting no time with her newfound sense of freedom, she asks her question.
“What happened to you, Jack? How are you here?”
It’s the question I knew she’d ask first. It’s the question I want to ask of her. When I meet her watery eyes, sadness sets in. I never had the chance to come clean before now.
“I risked a lot to look for you,” she continues. “Your family was gone. I couldn’t find you or your dad anywhere. I thought maybe Maxwell got you. I checked every hospital in the area; I hacked into all of the police precincts within three counties. There were no reports. No files. It was like you didn’t exist.”
“I didn’t.”
She furrows her brow in confusion, and I decide to tell it as straight as Logan probably would. Reaching out to cradle her hands, I begin. “Jessa, when you knew me back then, I wasn’t a high school student. I was in the military. I was working on a federal investigation. At the time, I was working special ops within a classified arm. I wasn’t a main player; those guys had been working undercover within the Sparr organization for almost a year when I came on board. I was recruited to report on other sides of the Sparr family. The man you knew as my dad, he was my commanding officer. That’s when I met you.”
Her grip tightens in my palm. “But how could you do that? We were only eighteen. Didn’t your parents have a problem with you putting yourself in danger?” Now I see my Jessa in her eyes. The girl from high school who trusted me unconditionally, and I almost don’t want to tell her.
But admitting to my deception in order to rebuild her trust is the only way through this, and I gently loosen her grip on my fingers and cover her hands with my own. “I wasn’t eighteen, Jessa. I was twenty-three when I met you. They sent me in because I was the youngest-looking guy on the team at the time.”
