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I raise my hand again to ask for more time, and once again he complies.
I realize I’m treading on thin ice. I won’t be able to control this conversation much longer.
“I need time to work through a lot of things, Logan.”
“I understand.” There is a hint of remorse in his tone.
I know he is nothing like Maxwell.
I nod in acceptance and continue, “I need time to forgive, and a lot of that has to do with me separating my experience last night from the one I am beginning to remember with—him.”
Logan’s expression changes. I’m no longer leading the conversation.
“Jack mentioned you are remembering parts of your time with—him.” He takes my cue and decides on a softer approach, and I’m grateful he hasn’t gone into interrogation mode.
“Yes. I remember everything from the video. Almost to the end.” As the final image flashes into my memory, I break eye contact with Logan. Humiliation washes over me as I lower my gaze to the desk and attempt to steady my breathing.
“I am truly sorry, Jessa. For your experience, and for my part in bringing those memories back. I know Jack and Dana are here for you, and I want you to know that I am as well, if you’d like to talk to me, considering…”
I chance a glance back up at him. I know he is dealing with his own fallout over what happened between us.
“I’d like that—in the future. I think that would be good for us.”
“I can also get access to a counselor, someone with no personal attachment. Whatever you need.”
I know deep down what I need. I need to see Maxwell dead. I need this to end. I need all of this destruction, a decade of pain, to wash away.
“Hey, you okay?” Logan’s concern shakes me out of my thoughts.
In my haze, he’s leaned forward in his chair. He seems to be monitoring me for signs of breakage.
The truth is, I don’t have time to break.
Just like Logan had no other choice, neither do I.
There is only one way out of this, and it is a road that no one will let me go down.
So I’ll be traveling it alone.
I’m about to burn everything to the ground, and I’m not entirely certain who’ll still be standing when the smoke clears. As soon as I get access to both sets of servers and connect them to Zane, all hell will break loose, and I’ll be the one ripping everything and everyone apart.
“Yeah. I’m good. Just tired.” I flash a small smile, just enough to register as authentic on Logan’s bullshit radar.
A look of relief tells me he’s buying my response for now.
“Have you remembered anything else yet?” He tries to make it sound inconsequential, but I know he wants into Maxwell’s whole operation almost as badly as I do.
“I haven’t yet. I’m sorry, Logan.”
“Look, I know your entire history with the Sparr family. Most of our team has a personal score to settle with someone in that family. I know it feels lonely, but you aren’t alone, Jessa.”
Logan’s words carry an air of understanding. We may be more alike than I thought.
I know Jack’s history with Maxwell, but I always assumed it was just another day in the office for everyone else.
“Do you have a personal score to settle?”
My question causes Logan’s left eye to twitch. “That’s a story for another time.” Abruptly switching gears, he gets back to his task at hand. “Has anyone approached you since we arrived on base? Anyone who might be working with Maxwell?”
