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Cole follows me, flamethrowers from his eyes. “Will you promise to leave Jordan alone? She has a bright future ahead of her, man, and you’re the last thing she needs mucking it up.”
This asshole. Does he think I could ever stop Jordan from achieving her goals, the ones I’ve seen her work at relentlessly day in and day out? Not that she would need me to, but I’d do everything in my power to help her succeed in whatever her goals.
“No. Why would I promise such a thing? It’s not my call, and it’s not yours to control.” I locate my jacket on the back of the kitchen bar stool, and pull it on. “If she wants me out of her life, she can tell me that. As of this moment, she is telling me the complete opposite.” I brush past him toward the front door. “She’s a grown woman, Cole. Let her make her own choices. Let her live her own life.” I bound out the front door before he can respond. The snow is piled high, and the visibility is garbage, but I hop into my car and pull out onto the street.
The roads have been plowed, if roughly, and I begin a slow drive into the storm. I can’t take one more minute with Cole in my face. I’m tempted to drive to Jordan’s, to apologize for Cole ruining our night, but I know she probably needs space right now. If she needs me, she knows how to reach me. Instead, I head toward the hospital.
It takes twice the usual time to get there and thankfully I’m one of the few people crazy enough to be driving in this weather. I park and hurry inside, pulling my hood up to block the wind and snow. By now, I’ve memorized where Dad’s room is, so I walk right past the reception desk and down the hall, my wet boots squeaking on the tile floor.
“Where’s Mom?” I ask, when I find him alone, sitting up in bed.
He looks old. There are deep wrinkles on his face and the bags beneath his eyes are purple as grapes. He straightens up when he hears my voice, wincing at the movement. “She went to get something from the cafeteria. Sometimes, I think she just needs a break from this room. Can’t say I blame her. I’d love one too.”
“Are you sure it’s the room she needs a break from?” I’m not in the mood to deal with my Dad. I only wanted to see Mom.
“Ouch, hitting a man when he’s down, son.” He rubs his bushy eyebrows.
“Yeah, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” I could list a hundred memories from my childhood of my Dad doing exactly that, but it would fall on deaf ears. Nothing I ever said or did made a difference in how he treated me.
“Can you just ease up for one night? I don’t want your mother to come back and find us fighting. She’s got enough to worry about.” He holds up his hand to forestall my words. “Please, Ty.”
“If you want a break from this room, I can send you back to thegeneral ward,” I say, looking around the room. It’s spacious, clean, and bright. In the daytime, the sun streams in the windows, lending it a cheer not foundanywherein most hospitals. Let alone in thegeneral ward. There’s a large TV for him to watch and a second bed for Mom, as well as an armchair for her to sit in during the day. There’s a stack of magazines behind it, a testament to how much time she’s spent here.
“You know you didn’t have to do this for me,” Dad says, an edge in his voice. “Especially not if you’re going to hold it over my head. I didn’t ask for it.”
“Yeah, because you’d never ask me for anything. It would mean I have something you find worthwhile, and you’d never want to have to admit that.” I know I’m carrying my anger from my fight with Cole, and my frustration of Jordan having to rush out the way she did, but it feels so good to unleash it on my Dad. “Favors from the golden child are okay, though, aren’t they?”
Dad leans forward, inhaling sharply and settles back against the cushions, holding a hand to his side. “What are you talking about? There’s no golden child. I love you both. You’re both my boys.”
“You had a really interesting way of showing that impartiality, then.” I’m about to launch into a rant about the way he had made me feel as a child–never good enough, and certainly never as good as Cole–when the sound of footsteps in the hallway interrupts me.
Turning to identify the source of the sound, I spot my mother striding down the hallway toward the room. Her face lights up when she sees me, and the rage inside me dissipates, flowing out like air escaping a filled balloon.
“Honey! I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. Don’t tell me you drove in this.” She hugs me and I squeeze her back. No matter how old I get, a hug from my mother will always be the best stress relief.
“It wasn’t too bad. I went slow.” She’d flip if she knew how bad the roads really are right now.
She makes a skeptical sound in her throat. “Well, I’m glad you’re here either way. I brought some snacks for Dad but I can run back and get something for you too. Here.”
“Mom, no, it’s okay. I’m not hungry. Just come sit and tell me you haven’t been eating hospital food this whole time.”
She smiles. “I know you said I should order food with your little app thing, but honestly, Ty, the food isn’t half bad here. And you’ve done enough for us. We’re not so picky.”
Mom hands Dad a bag of chips, and he gives me a look behind her back that doesn’t require a mind reader for me to understand —no arguing in front of Mom. As if I would ever.
“Are you going to stay for a while?” Mom sits down on the edge of Dad’s bed and holds out a chip for me.
I shake my head. It’s nice to see her, but I’m still too worked up to stay here for long. “I should get back before the roads get worse, but it was nice to see you. Both of you.” I add the last bit for her sake, giving her one last hug.
As I step out into the hospital hallway, I realize that through it all, Jordan has been a constant thought in my mind. Did she make it home safely? I can’t resist the urge to text and ask. Despite my original intentions, thereissomething real between us now. Something I can’t walk away from. Something that I won’t walk away from, even if Cole doesn’t approve. Especially if Cole doesn’t approve. I only hope she feels it too.
Chapter 19
Jordan
Iclosethedoorbehind me and slide down the wall to sit on the floor, leaning against it. My apartment is cold, dark and empty. Other than the scent of Tyson’s cologne lingering on my skin, my senses are numb. Breathing in the smell of his memory, I wrap my arms around my knees and tuck myself into a ball, as if my position will protect me from the onslaught of guilt I’m feeling. The look on Cole’s face when he watched me come down the stairs was a mixture of shock and betrayal. And what else would it be? There’s no way he could have ever imagined what was happening between Tyson and me. A true friend would have told him before he discovered it the way he did. Abestfriend wouldn’t have done what we did to begin with.
Tears well in my eyes and I let them fall, watching them splash from my cheeks as they leave dots of wetness on the fabric of my jeans. What am I going to do? I’ve never felt so alone. Cole was always here for me and I don’t know if I can make it through school without him. He’s been my tutor and friend for years, the one person I could always turn to no matter how bad things got. Now I’ve hurt him. And probably lost him forever.
