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“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” Adeline asked, running her finger along her daughter’s cheek.
The tiny girl turned her mouth toward the finger, rooting for something that I most definitely didn’t have to offer her.
“Oops, looks like you started something that I can’t finish.” I said as I held the tiny baby out towards her mother.
She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know what to do.”
Taking the small girl into her arms, she looked down at the now crying infant helplessly.
“Don’t you, just, ya know, pop that boob in her mouth or something?” I asked.
She shrugged and started to pull down her shirt. “Uhh, sure. I should’ve taken one of those goddamned breast-feeding classes. Maybe I should just do formula.”
“Just pop that sucker in there. I bet she’ll do the rest.” I guessed.
Awkwardly she let her shirt slip off her shoulder and placed the baby to her breast.
I laughed as the baby just practically motor boated her. “Here,” I said holding the baby’s head towards my sister’s boob. “Put yourboobie in her mouth.”
She did, and then yelped as the baby latched on with ferocity.
When I tried to take my hands away from the baby, she popped off and started screaming uncontrollably.
“Shit,” I said, putting my hand back on the baby’s head and the other on her boob where it had been. “Now what?”
My sister had the same grip going on with her boob, with the other placed underneath the bulk of the baby’s body. “I don’t know. It shouldn’t really be this hard.”
Not knowing what else to do, I called for help. “Kettle!”
He came in seconds later, and then looked at us with surprise. “Not that I mind that you’re touching my wife’s breasts, but this is the hospital after all, and you shouldn’t be doing it in front of my baby.”
His eyes were filled with mirth though, so it was obvious he was kidding. “We don’t know what to do. Maybe you should stuff some pillows underneath her arms or something so I don’t have to hold her boob.”
Kettle rolled his eyes and went to collect some pillows.
“The nurse recommended a Boppy, but I don’t know what that is, nor do I have one of those, so she gave me these.” He said as he shook the pillows at us. “Where do you want them?”
After much maneuvering, I finally got to take my hand off my sister’s boob and sit back down.
“I should’ve taken a picture of that.” Kettle stated dryly.
“Yeah, and I could have gelded you in your sleep.” I replied sarcastically.
“How? You can’t even see to get there. You’d have to call me to come get you.” He teased.
I looked at him, narrowing my eyes, and he stood up straighter. “You can see!”
I rolled my eyes. “This is the man you chose to marry?”
“He’s good in bed.” Adeline replied, not even looking up as she ran her fingers along Saylor’s fuzzy head.
A knock at the door had us all turning.
“Can I come in?” Trance called from the doorway.
Kettle became a whirlwind of movement as he went to stand in front of his wife, throwing a sheet over not only the still eating Saylor, but Adeline as well.
“Hold on while Mr. Caveman makes sure his wife’s titties aren’t exposed.” I said dryly.
