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All because of a stupid crush I just can’t seem to shake.
Chapter fifteen
Tom
Ican’tstopthinkingabout it. That kiss.That fucking kiss.
I can’t even remember the last time I got so worked up over a kiss. If it’s ever happened at all. The only thing I wanted in that moment was to tackle Archie to the ground, strip him naked, and fuck him so hard he wouldn’t be able to walk properly for a week.
And that scared the absolute shit out of me.?
I want him. Badly. I’ve known that for ages now, even if I haven’t wanted to actually admit it to myself. And I guess now I know how he feels about me.
But now’s not the time for a victory lap. Because regardless of how we feel about each other, going there with him would be a colossally bad idea. One of us has to be the grown up in this situation, and considering I’m the literal grown up here, it’s going to be me.
It’s not until I’m halfway to Courtney’s place that I realise I literally just ran out of my house, leaving Archie behind without any explanation whatsoever. Alright, so maybe that particular moment isn’t the best example of my so-called maturity. But from now on I’m taking charge. No more kissing. No more…anything, really. We’re just mates. That’s all we can be.
As soon as I get to Courtney’s, she takes one look at my face and asks, “What happened?”
“I kissed him,” I confess. “Or, well…technically he kissed me. But then I kissed him back. And then I freaked out and left. And then I came here.”
She sighs, offering a rueful smile. “I’d better put the kettle on.”
I follow her into the kitchen and perch on my usual stool at the island, resting my elbows on the bench and burying my head in my hands. I could really use a beer right now but I can’t do alcohol mid-season anymore. Just another consequence of getting older.
“Come on, Tommy, it can’t bethatbad.” She tousles the top of my head and I reluctantly glance up, finding her wearing an expression that’s part sympathy, part amusement. “You didn’t, like, bite his tongue off or something did you?”
I glare at her. “No I did not. The kiss was…” I let out a heavy sigh. “It was incredible. So fucking good…”
“Okay, if you could try not to get drool all over the marble, that’d be nice,” she says dryly.
“Sorry.”
She turns around and busies herself making the tea. “If the kiss was so bloody epic then why did you freak out about it?”
“Because it shouldn’t have happened. And nothing else can come from it,” I insist, feeling like someone who’s reached the gates of paradise only to be turned away.
Courtney turns back and hands me my tea. “Why the hell not?”
“Because he’s nineteen. Because we’re teammates. Because we have a really good friendship going and I don’t want to spoil it,” I list off on my hand. “Because it could affect our on-field dynamic, which would hurt the team. Because the media would have a field day if they found out, which would also hurt the team. And you and Keegan.”
She holds up her hands. “Leave Keegan and me out of it. All we want is for you to be happy.”
“But—”
She leans forward and fixes me with an intent look, her green eyes blazing. “The only thing I’m getting from all of that is that you’re scared,” she says bluntly. “You really like this guy and you’re scared it won’t work and you’ll get hurt.”
“The odds aren’t exactly in our favour, Court,” I say glumly.
“So make your own luck,” she insists.
My brow furrows in confusion. “How am I supposed to do that?”
She offers a wry smile. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’ve never backed away from anything you wanted before, Tom. why the fuck would you start now?”
Avoiding Archie obviously isn’t an option, although I try my best to do it anyway. I know I’m being an absolute twat; I should just tell him why I freaked out and make it crystal clear that any more…canoodling between us is completely out of the question.?
Canoodling?Bloody hell, I really am a twat.
