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He looks up at me, eyes wide with what looks almost like vulnerability. “Stay here.”
?“You going to feed me?”
“I’ll definitely feed you something,” he says with a waggle of his brows.
?“But you’ve already done that, I want some real food now.” I grin at him. “Your cum is tasty, but it’s not going to sustain me.”?
“Fine,” he sighs, running a hand over his stomach. “But we’re getting a shower first and then we’ll get some food in your belly, baby.”
I just look at him, eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s a name you call someone who’s more than just a friendly hookup.”
Tom gets off the bed to stride towards me and grips the back of my neck forcing me to look him in the eye.
“We both know that this is more than just sex. So we’re going to get in the shower. Going to have some food. And then we’re going to talk about exactly what this is.”
?“Yes, sir,” I tease.
?“Don’t bloody start.”
We rush through showering, where he makes sure I’m very clean before giving me a pair of his joggers to put on.
“So,” I say, as I sit at the granite island, watching him throw together some pasta and meatballs. “What do you want this to be? Because I want this and I want you, but twenty-four hours ago you were freaking out because I kissed you, and what we did today was more than just kissing.”?
He lifts his gaze from the courgette he’s grating, that familiar intensity burning in his blue eyes. “I’m in the closet and a grand total of two people know about my sexuality.”
“Are you worried I’m going to say something?” I ask, feeling a little hurt. “I would never do that.”
“No, of course not. I’m just trying to explain why I freaked out yesterday. It wasn’t fear about being outed. It was fear about changing things. And ruining them,” he explains, letting out a regretful sigh. “Then Courtney pointed out I was ruining things anyway. She told me to make my own luck, so that’s what I did.”
I grin at him. “I’ll have to send her a gift basket.”
His lips form a soft smile, his eyes wrinkling at the corners in the way I’m coming to absolutely love. ?“Look, Archie, you make me feel things that no one has ever made me feel.” He lifts a hand to run through his blond waves, looking adorably self-conscious. “I want to explore this connection we have, but I know we’re at different points in our lives. I’m in my thirties, my career is winding down, I’ve got a kid who’s closer to your age than I am. Your whole life is starting out—”
I cut him off. “Please tell me you aren’t going to do the whole thing.”
His brows furrow together in confusion. “What thing?”?
“Like in the movies where the guy decides what’s best for the girl and that’s it? Because I will not handle that well. If you think I’m dramatic when I need your dick in me, just wait ‘til you see what I’m like when you try and take something I desperately want away.”
“What? Fuck, no, I’m not going to do that.” he frowns at me like I’ve grown a second head. “I want to make a decision together, but I want everything laid out there.”
“Okay, well my decision is that I want you too, and I want to see where this can go.” I sit up a little straighter. “I know I’m just nineteen, but this is going to happen.”
“It’s not a job interview, babe,” he says wryly. “You can tone down the ‘focused determination’ just a bit.”
I let out a soft laugh as he touches my cheeks. Alright, so I might have sounded a bit too eager just now. I climb off my stool and move around the island, pulling up right in front of Tom. “I just meant that my age shouldn’t come into it. I’m an adult.”
“Who still lives with his parents,” he says wryly.
“Only ‘cause it’s easier.”
Tom smiles and brushes a kiss to my lips. I’m tempted to just sink into it and forget about dinner and this conversation. But we really do need to work this stuff out.?
“Wait—there are other things that we need to figure out,” I tell him, holding my hand up to block any further advances. “Like…you might not want to be with me. I’m out. Like, I’m very famously out. I made international news being a gay Premier League footballer. It will put a mark on your back. I mean, of course we’ll play it off that we’re just teammates and you’re my mentor, but people are going to gossip. There are already TikTok edits that ship us.” Although not as many as there are shipping me and Robbie for some reason…
An adorable frown of confusion touches his face. “I don’t know what that means.”
I wave away his concern. “Okay, we don’t have time for that now. My point is, you have all these negative things about me being with you, but there’s negatives for you being with me too.”
