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“Get the fuck off him, dog,”I growl, glaring at the mutt.
Taking matters into his own hands, Archie stands up, lifting the dog with him and then setting him on the floor.?
I shove myself between Archie and the dog, not at all surprised when the friskball starts growling at me.
“Of course he’s growling at you,” Archie says with obvious exasperation. “You’re being mean to him.”
“I’m not beingmean.I’m making sure he knows you’re off limits.”
He lets out a snort. “Off limits? Tom, he’s a dog.”
“Who wants to fuck you.”
“You sound insane.” He steps around me and reaches for the dog, lifting his front paws up so he’s standing on his hind legs. “Besides, doesn’t look like he’d be able to anyway.”
“Ha, you’re hilarious,” I grumble.
Archie sets the dog back down, and he immediately lunges forward, sticking his head right in Archie’s crotch and having a good nuzzle.
“See!” I shout. “Get the hell out of there, dog. That’s mine!”
“Yeah, okay, this is getting a little uncomfortable,” Archie allows, attempting to manoeuvre the mutt’s shaggy grey head away.
“Where is he?” I hear Keegan’s sleepy voice mumble from the sofa behind me. “Where’s the dog?”
I grab the dog’s collar and yank him away from my boyfriend’s crotch. “Come on Keegan, we’re taking him home.”
“You know who he belongs to?” Archie asks curiously.
“I’m going to bloody well find out.”
In spite of the growling and protesting of the mutt, I manage to grab the phone number from the tag on his collar and give it a ring. It takes five attempts, but the call is finally answered by a woman who sounds a little out of breath.
“Are you missing a dog?”
“Oh, you found him!”
“Unfortunately,” I grumble.
“What does that mean?” she asks nervously. “Is he…did something happen?”
“He’s fine. Can we bring him back to you?”
She rattles off her address, which is just across the park from my place.
“We’ll be there in five minutes,” I inform her. Then I end the call and turn to my son. “Come on Keegan, we need to get him home.”
“Can’t we just keep him?” he asks, eyes pleading.
“Nope.”
“But Dad,” Keegan protests, sticking his bottom lip out.
“He’s not our dog, Keegan. Come on, his owner is missing him.”
“Here, you might need this,” Archie says, collecting a red lead from the coffee table and fastening it to the dog’s collar. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“I think some distance might do you both good,” I say dryly.
