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“You didn’t allow anything to get that far. I’m the one who kissed you. And I want to do it again.”

When I try to kiss him again, he takes another step back.

“Kendall, you’re drunk. I don’t want you doing anything that you’re going to regret in the morning.”

“How do you know I’m going to regret this in the morning?”

“Kendall, why don’t we go up to your room and you can sleep it off?”

I stare at him for a moment, trying to swallow down the sick feeling that rises at his rejection. Maybe I’ve been imagining all of his lingering looks. Maybe I made up the way he feels about me in my head.

He reaches for me, but I shake my head and swat his hands away. Evan sighs and runs his hand through his hair. His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but it snaps shut again.

As I stumble my way up the stairs, he doesn’t bother trying to reach for me again, though he does stay only a couple steps behind me at all times.

When I get to my room, I don’t bother to say anything to him before closing the door behind me.

The second the door is closed it feels like I can breathe again. I don’t have to hold it together and pretend that his rejection doesn’t hurt.

In my drunk and hazy mind, kissing him seemed like a good idea. There’s tension between us that makes me think he wants it as much as I do.

But then again, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe I’m reading too much into the way he looks at me.

I sigh and fall onto my bed, my heart aching slightly. In the grand scheme of things, his pulling away doesn’t mean that much. In a couple days, I’ll be over it and focusing on my studies again.

Maybe.

I hope the way I feel about him goes away. His rejection hurts too much to keep wanting him.

6

EVAN

Istareoutatthe lake, running over every single detail of last night for the millionth time. Kissing Kendall was a mistake. Allowing myself to lose control for even those few moments was a mistake.

What I need now is time away from her. I can’t keep betraying her father this way. If Dave was alive, he would kill me for kissing her.

Hell, if he even knew the way I think about her, I would already be buried six feet under. There is no way that he would ever be okay with it.

Yet, I still can’t get her out of my head, even as the guilt tries to consume me. I still think about the way my hands felt on her body, holding her against the wall as we kissed. She was pinned beneath me and at my mercy.

I should have stepped away from her sooner. I shouldn’t be leading her on like this when there is nothing good that can come of it.

With a sigh, I take a sip of my coffee and lean against the deck railing. Birds flit through the sky and only the sound of the sweet spring breeze rustling the leaves on the trees fills the air.

I hear movement inside the house and turn to see Kendall striding through the kitchen. The door behind me opens and Kendall steps out onto the deck. She has earbuds in and her blonde hair slicked back into a ponytail. I try to keep my gaze from dropping to her black sports bra and tiny shorts, but I can’t help it.

I need to get away from her. I need to get control again.

“Where are you going?” I ask, glancing back out over the lake.

“For a run.”

“You run?”

She sighs. “Yes.”

An awkward silence stretches between us. I take another sip of my coffee, trying to figure out how to say what I need to say to her. We have to talk about last night and how inappropriate it was.

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