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Everything looks like it did the day before she moved in and changed my life forever.
My heart is beating rapidly as I open her bedroom door and look around. Though the room still smells like her perfume, none of her little trinkets or clothes are still here. I open every drawer, looking for something of hers.
In the end, all I find is a little note.
Evan,
I hope you don’t mind, but I had Blake pack up my things. Well, he offered and I took him up on it. After knowing everything, it’s too hard to walk in that house again.
You broke me.
I let you in. You were the first person I’ve let see past the walls I built up since I met Zara.
You broke that trust and then you expected me to be here, waiting for you. Do you really think that I would want to sit around, pining after you, waiting for you to come home so you could try and tell me how you were doing what was best for me?
I’ve done what’s best for me for many years. I don’t need you walking into my life and deciding that you know what best is.
The truth is, you may know a lot of things about me, but you’ve never taken the time to get to know me.
It took me a long time to see it at first, but this whole time you’ve been subtly shaping me into the woman you want me to be. The kind of woman who blends into your life. Who rubs elbows with the rich and thinks that it’s as good as life can possibly get.
You tried to force me into a life that isn’t mine.
I fell for it at first.
I fell for you at first.
Falling in love with you is the easiest thing that I’ve ever done and walking away from you is the hardest.
But I know that it’s what’s best for me.
I can’t hold a place for you in my heart right now. Not when you’ve seen to its destruction.
After you told me that you knew my father, everything became clear.
You stepped into the caretaker role because you thought you had to. It was his dying wish. I don’t know that I would have done differently in your position.
That doesn’t mean that I forgive you for lying to me, just that I understand why you did.
I don’t need a caretaker though. I need an equal. Someone who won’t rob me of my independence.
For a moment, I thought that was you.
I guess we can all be wrong about things every now and then. You don’t know how much I wish that I wasn’t wrong.
I had a pregnancy test at my doctor’s office and it’s been confirmed that we’re having a baby. I’ll keep you up to date on the details, and in a few months, once I’ve had time to heal, we can talk about a custody arrangement.
I’m sorry that it had to be this way.
One day, maybe we can get past this. I want to forgive you, but right now I don’t know how.
I love you.
I put down the letter and wipe away the tears rolling down my cheeks. My chest constricts and I take a deep breath, trying to think of a way to fix this.
Everything that’s happened is my fault. I should have told her who I was from the moment I met her. Maybe then we wouldn’t be where we are right now.
What a better man would do is let her move on.
