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I break from her, utterly breathless. But I can’t tease myself anymore. I have too many doubts. After everything I’ve been told by her and her father, I just don’t feel right fucking the preacher’s daughter on the first date.
She keeps leaning forward, clearly wanting more, not having the same doubts.
But I pause, shake my head. “You’re wonderful, Cadence. But if we keep going, I might do something I regret.”
“I’m not going to regret it, Carter. Keep going.”
“I will. And that’s enough.”
She pouts, but it’s a playful one. She understands where I’m coming from, at least.
“Sorry. Your father didn’t explicitly condemn this sort of thing, but I’m trying to avoid doing the thing that he warned me against.”
I don’t want to make her cry. Not in the slightest. She’s too much of a sweetheart for me to do something like that to her, and if it all doesn’t work out, I don’t want to carry that burden going forward.
She blows out a breath and straightens herself up beside me on the hood of my truck. “It’s not like he wants me to remain a virgin forever or anything, you know.”
“He seems like a nice guy. Bit intense at times, but it’s clear that he cares deeply about you and your feelings.”
“I guess. Doesn’t always feel like that, though.”
I cock an eyebrow. “How so?”
“He tried to fix me up with some guy from a congregation a few towns over. Someone who believes in the exact same brand of Christianity that we do. Marcus, his name was. Dad was none too subtle about us getting together. There was a very awkward Fourth of July barbecue where we kept ending up on the same team for family games, and we spent a whole lot of time on a paddleboat together.”
“Was he that truly that bad?”
“He wasn’t for me. He wanted something else out of life and was as disinterested as I was. Just a guy in the same weird situation I was in, with his parents trying to play matchmaker. I was pretty ticked off at my parents for trying to pull that. I let them know it and let them know I wasn’t going to be married off to a man of their choosing like this was 1317 or whatever.”
“You deserve better than that, yes. You should be free to choose who you want without your parents thinking they deserve a say.”
She nods. “I absolutely agree. I don’t mind being old-fashioned in some ways, but this isn’t one of them.”
“And who would you want if you could describe the perfect man for you?”
She leans back, a smile on her face. “Someone big. Strong. A man’s man. But someone who is also not afraid of who they are. Someone who isn’t going to let their masculinity get in the way of expressing their feelings. Someone who’s kind and sweet, someone worthy of promising myself to.”
She leans onto my shoulder, her hair so soft against it.
“Someone like you, Carter.”
I chuckle softly. “Sure you aren’t just into me out of some weird teenage rebellion against your parents? Getting them back for trying to set you up with some boring-ass church boy?”
She shakes her head. “No. I’m into you because you’re you, Carter. Not someone I imagine you to be.”
God, she’s too fucking perfect. Here she is, literally offering herself up to me on a silver platter. She wants me to take her so bad.
But it just isn’t right. I’m Carter Rowdy, and I definitely live up to my family name. My knuckles have scars from punching so many people in the face. The sheriff jokingly refers to the drunk tank as my personal hotel suite. I ride a motorcycle. I’m everything a sweet church girl needs to rebel against her parents.
And Cadence just described perfectly why she has reason to rebel. I’d be causing some shit too if I was nineteen and my dad tried to fix me up with someone for marriage.
She’s young. It’s just angst. I can’t exploit this. Not in good conscience.
“You really should think twice about things, Cadence. Yeah, your parents did something weird, but I don’t think that’s grounds to go salting the earth like you seem to want to do.”
“Salting the earth? That sounds like an extreme metaphor about me and my relationship with my parents, Carter.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t want to be part of some game you’re playing with them.”
