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The pit in my stomach grows as Beatrice steps out of the car.
She finds my hand again, tightening her fingers around mine with an almost death grip as I start toward the ticket booths. Her eyes are dipped, her gaze on the ground, and I wonder if I’ve made a mistake bringing her here.
It seemed like a great idea, giving her back something she lost because of Sebastian, but now I’m thinking maybe I should have found something new to give her instead.
Our friends are meeting us here in a little while, in the hopes that them coming a little bit after we arrive will give her time to adjust to the parks. Last time, she managed two hours, but I could tell she was miserable. Her body was tense and jumpy as we walked around, and I want to give her a better experience. An experience she can smile at when she thinks of it in the future.
But what if I got it wrong?
In the weeks we’ve been together, she’s had the odd bad moment with her mental health, but things have mostly been smooth sailing. It’s more so her becoming overwhelmed when we socialize too much, or when I tell her I love her, and she can’t get the words out to tell me back.
She does love me though. Whether she believes it or not.
I don’t need to hear the words to know it’s true. I can feel it every time she kisses me or places her hand in mine. And when she looks at me, her eyes tell me everything her mouth can’t.
Her steps falter when we get a few feet away from the entrance, her eyes settling on the sign above. She holds her breath, her shoulders growing taut, and I have the sudden urge to pull her away. To wrap her up and run back to my car and take her home where she feels safe.
I almost do, my foot lifting to take a step backward, but she blows out a breath and tugs me forward. Her hand stays firm in mine, but instead of me leading her, she takes the lead, past the ticket booths and into the happiest place on earth.
“Remember, Bumblebee,” I say, pulling her to a stop and wrapping myself around her. “We go when you’re ready.”
She nods, tipping her head back and placing a chaste kiss on my lips. Her eyes glitter with anticipation, but there’s panic lingering in the green depths too. Something I’m determined to rid her of for today.
“You ready?”
She turns to face the parks, dragging her gaze over the space as she pulls in a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Okay, first things first, you need ears and some food. And then … I’m going to rock your world and get you all wet.” She turns back to me, a beaming smile on her lips as her head tips back, and I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than her at this moment.
“Splash mountain?”
“Splash mountain, all day, every day, babe.”
“You’re such a kid at times, Mav,” she says, but the joy never leaves her face as I grab her hand again, moving through the growing crowd.
When we’ve had some food, and she has a pair of navy-blue Mickey ears attached to her head—the color she chose to match the Bears sweaters she’s wearing, which makes me fall even more in love with her, if that’s somehow possible—the guys find us, following Beatrice’s lead for the rest of the day as she drags us from ride to ride, making the most of our time here.
Her hand barely leaves mine, and in the moments it does, it’s only when she tucks herself into my body or escapes to the restroom with Maisie and Harlow. A few times she has a moment—when a wandering visitor gets too close to her, or the lines are longer, and we have to huddle close to those around us—but not once does she let it stop her.
As we’re leaving, having managed five hours before she turned to me with sleepy eyes, telling me she was ready to go home, she sits quietly in the car, soaking in the soft piano music that filters through the speakers—something that calms her when she’s overwhelmed, as she told me a couple weeks back.
“Maverick,” she whispers when we reach campus. I switch the engine off, turning to face her, and a breath shudders out of me at the grin on her face and the way her eyes glitter in the light. “Thank you.”
“You never have to thank me, Bumblebee.”
She shakes her head and tugs my face to hers. “I do. You’re not only letting me live, but you’re bringing me back to life. I owe you all the thank-yous in the world. For being you, for letting me be me. I don’t have the right words, or even the words you probably want to hear, but remember how you said I was the greatest mistake of your life?”
I nod, my throat heavy at the reminder. While it’s true in so many ways, I don’t think it remotely sums up what she is to me anymore. She’s everything all rolled into a perfect Bea-sized package.
“Well, you’re the greatest mistake of mine,” she says, leaning forward until our lips are mere inches from each other. “But I hope you know you’re also the best decision I’ll ever make. And today, you’ve given me a memory I’ll cherish forever.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Beatrice
Maisieslidesintotheseat next to me, pushing my strewn papers over. Peeling my eyes from the worksheet I’ve been reading; I scoop the mess up and tuck the papers into the folder before shoving it back into my bag on the floor. I cap the lid on my pen, tucking it behind my ear as I turn to my friend.
“Where’s your shadow today?” she asks, flicking her gaze over the quiet library.
