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I cough on a dry laugh, shaking my head. “Mom, I’ve been dating her son for weeks. It would make me a bit of a hypocrite if I had anything negative to say about it, don’t you think?”
She doesn’t laugh, or smile, or offer me any words, she just stares into my eyes, probably trying to read my thoughts, but I shut myself down and keep my expression blank. Truthfully, I’m not okay with any of this.
Not really.
It’s not so much that they’re friends again, or even the things that Maverick’s parents have said about me in the past. I understand it. And if I had a child, I can’t imagine how I’d have felt in their shoes when everything went down.
But I also know if I did have a child, I wouldn’t go behind their back the way my parents have. Keeping secrets. That’s what got me in this mess.
“You’re really okay with this?” Mom asks, holding her breath, and I nod. Another lie to add to an awfully long list.
“Yeah, I’m okay with it, Mom. You deserve some happiness too.”
“I love you, Beatrice,” she says, pressing a kiss to my head before she stands and starts clearing the table. My pasta sits untouched, my stomach too raw to handle any food right now. “You know that, right?”
I nod. “I’m gonna go to bed, okay? This day has been a little too overwhelming.”
“Okay,” she echoes as I push away from the table, rushing up the stairs.
The moment my bedroom door is closed, I twist the lock, closing my eyes as I lean against the door. So many secrets and so many lies. Blood beads at my thumb from where I’m picking at the skin, and I swipe it away, moving over to the window.
Nudging it up, I grab my phone from the bedside, tucking it into my back pocket as I climb over the ledge. Thankfully, the garage roof is below my bedroom, so I hop down, freezing as it rattles under my weight.
I wait a minute, but Mom never comes, and a relieved breath whooshes from me as I climb the ladder, rushing past the garage and slipping into the alley beside our house.
For the first few months, after everything happened, my mom and dad refused to let me out of their sights, and sometimes the only way to get a little reprieve was to crawl out of my window and wander down to the beach in the middle of the night, finding a little comfort in the waves as they beat against my feet.
Today, though, I wander down the street without a destination in mind. My brain won’t stop screaming at me, and I need to find some peace. The sky darkens above me and then rain pours, soaking through my clothes as my hair falls limp over my shoulder, the strands growing heavy with moisture.
Mud soaks into my white Vans when I walk over the old park Willow and I used to come to when we needed a break from our parents, the swings beckoning me as thunder rumbles in the sky.
The metal creaks under my weight when I take a seat, pushing my legs beneath me as the momentum swings me back and forth. Time becomes irrelevant as the sky darkens further, my hands freezing around the metal.
Mud sinks in the background, footsteps approaching, but I don’t turn around. They won’t be here for me. Probably just another lost soul seeking peace in the night. At least that’s what I convince myself, untilhespeaks. A voice I’ve long tried to forget but never been able to. My blood chills, my anxiety spiking when he comes closer, his shadow curling around me.
“Hey, beautiful,” he whispers into my ear. “You never did reply to any of my letters.”
Maverick
The crowd roars when I score a touchdown, the stadium coming to life with cheers and music as the timer runs out. Nash jumps on my back, shoving me to the ground as the rest of the team huddles around us, bouncing on their feet.
Coach shoves through the gang, gripping my palm and pulling me to my feet before he slaps me on the back twice. “Congrats, son.”
Nodding my thanks, I brush my friends away, searching the stands. Disappointment weighs on me like a ton of bricks when I don’t spot the red-haired girl that has become a fixture in my eyeline over recent months. This is the third game she hasn’t been at, but still the hope hasn’t gone away that maybe she’ll show up.
Willow calls my name as she runs down the stairs, diving into my arms. Mom and Dad trail behind her, matching smiles on their faces when they reach us. “You did it, Mav. Fucking proud of you, big bro.”
“Cheers, Will.” Patting her on the back, I drop her to the ground, keeping my arm over her shoulder. Dad shakes my hand while Mom tucks into my other side, her arms going around my waist. “Thanks for coming, guys.”
“The first game of the playoffs, as if we could miss this,” Dad booms, rubbing his gloved palms together as he looks over the stadium. He looks so out of place in his suit and tie, the leather shoes at his feet sinking into the damp mud. Whereas, Mom tries, her Bears jersey a size too big as she winks at me.
Willow mutters something, but I don’t catch her words, not until Mom asks her to repeat it. “I said, unlike some people,” she mumbles, glancing up at me as my arm tenses where it rests on her neck. Mom watches us, her lips pursed and brow raised. Willow looks at me.You gonna tell them, or am I?she mouths, the corner of her lips twitching.
Sighing, I pull away from my sister, turning to face my parents head-on. “She’s talking about Beatrice,” I say, keeping my expression blank despite the fact I haven’t spoken her name aloud in over a week, not since I sat with Maisie on the quad. “We were together for a little bit, recently. Liketogether, together,”I elaborate when Mom and Dad stare at me with confusion in their eyes.
“You were?” Mom asks, her eyes softening and her lips lifting slightly. “Oh, Maverick. Why did you never tell us?”
“You aren’t mad?” Willow scoffs beside me, her head swinging back and forth between our parents and me. She looks at me then, eyes wide, and I have no doubt my expression is a reflection of hers.
