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Sebastian tips his lips up at me, but it looks all wrong. I used to believe that handsome smile was full of warmth and love, but now it’s empty. The boy I once thought I knew never existed, and looking at him now, it’s impossible not to see the viciousness that lives inside him.
“I made you a promise, Beatrice. I promised that I would never leave you,” he says, reminding me of the words he whispered all those years ago.
“I was fourteen, Sebastian, and it was before you beat me black and blue,” I snap, taking a few steps backward. He stalks after me, never taking his eyes off my face. “I think it’s safe to say I’m not worried about holding you to that promise. In fact, I happily relieve you of it.”
Turning around, I try to run, but he catches up to me easily, his hand closing around my wrist in too tight a grip. He pulls me into his chest, his free hand fisting my hair as he tugs my head back, and my body shakes with the reminders of all the times he’s done this before.
“You can’t blame me for those things, Beatrice. You provoked me. You know that. All you had to do was apologize, and I never would have hurt you.”
God, those words. How many times have I heard those same words and believed them? And why, even now, does a small voice in my head tell me he’s right?
He’s not. He can’t be. Nothing is my fault.
My heart pounds against my chest, hammering as if trying to escape, and my blood chills, my hands becoming clammy as his grip on me tightens, his eyes a fiery blaze as they run over me.
Five things, Beatrice. Just five things.You cannot break here. Not now.
Not with him.
“Sebastian, you’re hurting me,” I say, pleading with the side of him who always felt guilt after he’d hurt me. Whether it was ever real, I don’t know. But I have to hope there’s some part of him, somewhere in that cruel body, that cares for me. “Please let go.”
“I can’t.” He tightens his grip on my hair, letting go of my wrist as his hand creeps up and closes around my throat. I gasp for air, but fail when his fingers tighten, cutting my oxygen off.
“I love you, Beatrice. I’ve always loved you. Why isn’t that enough? I never wanted to hurt you, but you made me.”
My mind circles those three words, countering with Maverick telling me the same. How he whispered them in the dark, his words full of warmth as he breathed them into me. How different two men can be. And yet I ran from one of them, again . . . bringing myself here. To Sebastian. The man who has hurt me time and time again.
I bring my hands up, trying to relinquish his hold on me as my lungs burn and my vision grows darker with each second he keeps me trapped here. I try to open my mouth, to call for help, but my body grows weaker, my lungs failing me.
“My dad forced me to let you go, but I knew I couldn’t. Not when I learned that you were withhim.You always wanted him, even when I offered to give you the world. It was never enough for you. I was never enough for you. But I will be. You have to see that.”
My eyes water, my face burning as he continues to hold me. The black spots grow closer, my vision almost black. Dizziness swamps me and his words grow muffled as blood rushes to my ear.
“You let him have you,” he says matter-of-factly. “And what did I always tell you would happen if you let Maverick touch you?”
“I’ll kill you, Beatrice. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. You’ll die before another man ever lays his hands on you.”
Sebastian’s words infiltrate my mind. The words he whispered one night after Maverick had hugged me at one of his football games. He’d always been jealous of anyone that came near me, but it was different with Maverick because our bond was stronger.
Sebastian never wanted to share me with anyone. If it wasn’t Maverick, it was Willow or Nash. But Maverick was his trigger. Always.
The first night he hit me—a backhand across my face, to remind me where I belonged—I was fifteen and I’d been to watch a football game. That was it. I’d sat in the bleachers of a football game. I was a child. But he didn’t care. My seventeen-year-old boyfriend did not care that I wouldn’t fight back.Couldn’tfight back. If anything, he relished the control he had over me.
My head pounds, and tears prick my eyes, rolling over too-cold cheeks. His fingers loosen around my throat, and he steps back, chuckling to himself as I fold at the waist, heaving as my lungs try to fill once more. The world spins, my focus thinning as my eyes flutter closed.
“All you have to do is say you’re sorry for going to him. Apologize for giving up on us. You know I love you, Beatrice. I will always love you.”
“What . . . I . . . know,” I sputter, my throat burning as I force the words from my throat. I carefully place my hand in my back pocket, doing it slowly so Sebastian doesn’t see me. Pressing down on the lock button five times, I wait until it vibrates in my hand, dialing 911. My legs tremble as I force myself upright, my body swaying in the wind as I look at him. “Is that you are insane.”
My head whips to the side, my face burning from the contact of his palm. “You don’t talk back, Beatrice,” he grits, his teeth clenched in frustration as he watches me. My body trembles, my legs quivering as I try to force my feet to move, but I’m paralyzed as he hits me again and again, knocking me to the ground.
Rain continues to pour around us, mud seeping into my clothes as a chill settles in my bones. Sebastian’s boot comes down on my ribs, and my body screams in pain, but I bite my tongue. He won’t get the satisfaction of hearing me scream, not anymore. His attack only lasts seconds, but his anger is so brutal as I clench my teeth, squeezing my eyes closed.How did I get here again?
The sound of sirens approaching in the distance have him peeling back, and as all the times before, his shoulders slump as I open my eyes. “You made me do it,” he breathes, bending down. “You made me do it. I’m sorry, beautiful. I love you. Please don’t forget that.”
With a harsh kiss on my forehead, he’s gone, and I welcome the darkness that coats me like a blanket, shielding me from the elements as my body fails, dragging me into the shadows.
Chapter Thirty-Two
