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Christine's last message only added to the heaviness in my heart. She wrote that Amanda was adapting faster than most kids but that she had cried when she woke up that previous morning and realized that I wasn't there. It was a tradition we had developed over the years—she would always wake up looking for me, and I would always try to be there at her bedside. But now, for the next few weeks, she would have to wake up without me.
The thought of Amanda waking up alone in that sparse, unfamiliar room made my heart ache. I knew that Christine’s friend was doing everything she could to take care of her, and I was grateful for that. But there was a part of me that felt I had let Amanda down. I had failed to protect her, and now she was paying the price.
It warmed my heart to hear that Christine's friend had taken it upon herself to ensure Amanda received special attention. As I read the messages again, I wondered how someone like Christine could have such a kind-hearted friend. But then again, Christine used to be sweet like that before she took off and abandoned us.
Turning to look at Laura, I saw she was still fast asleep, her chest rising and falling with each breath. I felt a deep sense of affection and appreciation for her as well. She had been tiptoeing around me since the recent troubles started, afraid to say or do the wrong thing. I knew I needed to assure her that I was okay and that I would get through this. I wanted to tell her I was grateful for her help, but I found myself unable to put my thoughts into words.
As I gazed at her, I also admired how stunning she looked, even in her sleep. The way the early morning light began to filter through the window and highlight the gentle curves of her face made her look even more ethereal. My heart ached with the desire to wake up to her every morning, to feel her warmth beside me and know that everything was going to be okay.
For a moment, I just lay there, lost in thought, enjoying the peace of the early morning.
As Laura's eyes fluttered open, I felt a rush of warmth flood through me. The sight of her looking up at me with those sweet, sleepy eyes and tousled hair was the most heart-melting thing I had ever seen. I leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, feeling her soft skin against my lips.
"Good morning," I murmured, my voice husky with sleep. She smiled back at me, and my heart swelled with affection.
As she rose out of bed, I panicked for a moment, worried that she might be going somewhere.
"I just need to brush my teeth," she said, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
It was amusing to see her all concerned about her breath, though. I chuckled to myself as she disappeared into the bathroom, barely wearing any clothes. I stood up and stretched, shaking the last remnants of sleep from my body.
I made my way over to the window and drew back the curtains, letting in the warm light of the morning. I opened the balcony door, feeling the cool breeze on my skin.
I stepped out onto the balcony and was immediately struck by the breathtaking view before me. The city seemed to stretch out for miles in all directions, the early morning light casting a soft and gentle glow over everything. The peaceful silence was only interrupted by the gentle chirping of birds in nearby trees. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the calmness of the moment fill me. I leaned on the rail and felt a sense of balance and order, as if all my worries had momentarily dissipated into the ether.
Just then, I felt Laura's arm wrap around me and her cheek press against my back. I turned around to embrace her, realizing for the first time just how petite she was without her heels on—her head barely reaching my chest. I took a deep breath and kissed the top of her hair, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort radiating from her. But as much as I wanted her, I knew that now wasn't the time. I gently pulled away and told her that we needed to get ready for breakfast.
As I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower, I could feel Laura's eyes on me, her longing gaze penetrating my skin. I quickly finished up and headed back out to the room, but Laura still wasn't dressed. Without saying a word, she stood up, walked towards me, wrapped her arms around me, and began kissing me passionately. I could feel the intensity of her desire, but I knew I couldn't give in. I wanted to take care of her, to treat her like the princess she was—not just satisfy her urges. I had no desire for that at the moment. I had a lot on my mind.
"Let's head to breakfast," I said calmly, hoping to diffuse the situation.
But my words seemed to have the opposite effect on her. Laura's face became hurt and etched with pain, and I could see tears brimming in her eyes.
"Right, breakfast. Yes, sorry," she muttered, turning away from me and heading towards the bathroom.
"Laura… it's not like that," I called out after her, but it was too late. She slammed the door shut, muffling her sobs. I rubbed my hands over my face in frustration, knowing that I had hurt her deeply.
I had wanted to make it right, to make her feel wanted, but I knew that it would take more than just words. I had to show her that I genuinely cared and that I was willing to put her needs before my own. But there were circumstances, and there were too many risks and obstacles. I knew from experience that when things finally started to take shape for me, something or someone always came along to mess it up, and eventually my life would collapse. I didn’t want to bring Laura, whose life was perfect and untainted, into this vicious cycle.
Thirty minutes later, Laura emerged from the bathroom, her eyes puffy and red from crying. I could see the hurt and pain on her face, and it broke my heart.
"Let's go for breakfast," she said softly, avoiding my gaze.
"Laura, look at me," I said, stepping in front of her. "Please, baby… look at me." I reached out and gently lifted her chin, making her eyes meet mine.
"I’m sorry, baby. There's just been so much on my mind. I'm so sorry," I told her, my voice filled with remorse.
"Anthony, if you have a lot on your mind, share it with me. I want to hear it. Don't keep yourself from me. That's who I want to be, your confidant, Anthony. I want to be your person of trust," she said, her voice gentle and reassuring.
I took her to the small couch in the room and sat her down, dragging a small stool in front of her. I hunched down to be on her level, trying to comfort her.
"James wants you," I said, watching her closely for a reaction.
She didn't look surprised, but I could see the fear in her eyes.
"Anthony, I swear I didn't intentionally keep this from you. He's been like that ever since I got back from Italy. He's said some weird things about owning me and wanting me, but I thought he would eventually stop. I'm so sorry to have brought you in the middle of this."
"I really needed to know this," I said calmly, searching her face. "But I know it wasn't intentional. You just didn’t want to make me uncomfortable."
