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“You did what?” Beth squeals.
She just about doubles over in a fit of laughter, one hand covering her mouth and her daiquiri glass shaking in the other.
“It’s not like I planned it, it –it just happened,” I shrug. “It was like those fairytale kisses. I half expected a flurry of butterflies to be fluttering around us when I opened my eyes.”
Over the years I have come to know Beth, her looks spoke full sentences and right now she is telling me to break it off.
“Hear me out,” I protest. “I’ve been head over heels in love so many times before, but I’ve never felt this way about a kiss before.”
Beth rolls her eyes but I continue before she can burst my bubble.
“It’s not just a conscious thing, my body just responds to him in a way I can’t control. My knees become weak, my belly clenches and I…”
“Wow! Too much information, Cas. I know we’re best friends and all, but there are some things even I don’t want to hear, much less imagine,” she giggles.
“Well someone’s got to hear it,” I say with a laugh. “Or I swear I’ll go mad thinking all these things about a practical stranger.”
“What are you getting yourself into, Cassidy Hayes? I thought we were pumping the brakes on trying to be a fairytale princess. Baby steps, remember?” she says with raised brows, taking a gulp of her drink.
“Baby steps, but I couldn’t control this. He’s not even my type.” I can’t help but smile at the thought of Ethan, even as I’m trying to explain the inexplicable.
“I don’t know how you continue working at the same club he frequents with his friends with all these giddy feelings you have,” Beth laughs. “And this was just a kiss?”
“Just a kiss,” I repeat.
She shakes her head slowly, clearly not buying my story.
“I don’t know how I do it either. When I see him or hear his voice my heart races, I feel hot like I have a sudden fever or something,” I say. “And after that kiss last night. He took my breath away. I honestly stopped breathing and thought I’d pass out.”
Everything I know is telling me Ethan can’t be good for me, but when I’m with him all of that goes away.
It makes absolutely no sense. “He’s cocky, his ego wouldn’t fit into this crummy apartment or even this entire building, but when he wants to be…” My heart flutters at the thought. “When it’s just the two of us he’s sweet; he gets me in a way I never could have imagined.”
“So you’re smitten,” Beth says, another warning with her eyes as she looks at me over her glass.
“Not smitten,” I argue. “Intrigued, more like. I can’t get a read on him.”
Beth has no response, just a slow shake of her head and a disappointed frown.
“He says he doesn’t believe in love, some crap about love being a commercial construct used to sell people things they don’t need,” I explain. “Then- then he turns around and pulls off the most romantic little gestures, like something out of a movie and I’m floored.”
“I can see that,” Beth smiles. “I still don’t like the guy, but seeing you this happy makes me think he might not be so bad- for a billionaire, that is.”
“But we’re not getting ahead of ourselves,” I say, forcing myself to be serious.
It’s easier said than done. Just as I start thinking of pumping the brakes on whatever is happening between Ethan and I, he has somehow removed them entirely and nothing is in my control. Not my feelings and definitely not my body.
It isn’t so much that I can’t think straight when I’m with Ethan, it's that I can’t think at all.
“So what’s the plan?” Beth asks “Now that we know you’re falling for the guy and falling fast, what are you going to do?”
“Nothing,” I shrug. “I’ve always planned my life too far ahead and now look at me.” I move my hand across the room to show off my dingy apartment.
I got rid of the smell of damp but the ugly walls and the tacky carpet are still what I call home. Faucets don’t work properly and handles are falling off cupboard doors. This is where planning my life has gotten me.
I shake my head. “This time I’m letting things happen as they happen, go with the flow as they say.”
Beth nods thoughtfully, weighing my words while I sip my drink thinking about how nothing will ever taste as good as Ethan’s kiss. There really is no saving me at this point. I have tried to hold back, but I am definitely free falling, and for Ethan Knight no less.
