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Ethan is still not convinced by my argument, "Seriously, Cassidy, your optimism amazes me," he says. "It isn’t love if you've tricked someone into feeling it."
Time flies by and before I know it, it’s time for my appointment with Lizzy and Beth before I get a chance to convince Ethan that even though it isn't conventional, his theory on love still rings true.
"We'll pick this up again, it really is interesting. I almost forgot that I have to meet up with Lizzy and Beth," I say and realize I also have to go home first and change.
I stand up, Ethan stands up too. Neither of us know if we should shake hands, hug, kiss or bow. Eventually, I awkwardly tap him on the shoulder and leave.
I hurriedly get changed and head to the bridal boutique. Lizzy, being the perfectionist she is, has a long list of shops to visit with a highly detailed description of the specific things we need to pick up from each one because my friend is absolutely going to have a perfect wedding.
"Who would’ve ever thought Tommy and I would be getting married?” Lizzy gushes as we pick up mini wine bottles for wedding favors. "I mean seriously, of all the people in the world."
Beth and I both roll our eyes and laugh, " You knew, he knew and anyone you spoke to either of you since the time we were in college to now knew," Beth laughs.
Lizzy met Tommy at the library and told us before they had even had their first conversation that he was the man she would marry. That's exactly what would be happening soon. It wouldn't be wrong to say she orchestrated the whole thing but it didn’t make their love less real.
We moved on to find cute little do-dads for the photo booth, trying things on and fooling around, laughing and joking like the old times.
I put on a top hat and have the instant urge to take a picture and send it to Ethan. But I can't, can I? We were in such a strange place now and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I didn't understand why it is so difficult for him not to accept that I’m really not angry at him. In fact, I understand and even agree with him and his theory. I now know first hand that it works. Well, kind of works because even now I am not sure how I feel about Ethan.
We move on to find flip-flops to offer guests as dancing shoes, going from one shop to the other, comparing prices. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Ethan hadn't told me about his bet with Edward. Soon I might have been planning my own wedding, preparing for married life. Would we be happy? Even if it was for a short while, maybe we could have been happy.
"Is everything okay?" Beth whispers while Lizzy talks to a shop assistant.
"Everything's great," I smile, "I just have a lot on my mind."
"Is it Ethan? How was the date?" Beth presses.
I shake my head and mime locking my lips. My friends have worried enough about me and I’m not going to make Lizzy's day about me.
"Guys, what do you think about these sandals? They could work right? For the reception?" Lizzy asked, holding up an elegant pair of gold sandals.
They would be perfect for a beach wedding, my dream wedding. But is that even something that's going to happen?
"They’re beautiful, Lizzy," I smile, walking towards her for a closer look. I inspect the sandals and shower Lizzy with compliments. She has great taste and once she makes up her mind about something it’s not like Beth and I could do or say anything to change it, not that we ever would. It is in violation of the girl code.
"Okay guys, I'm thinking we look at the dress now," Lizzy smiles.
"Or we could do lunch first," Beth suggests.
We walk into a small restaurant and slide into a booth.
"Cocktails?" Beth asks with a grin.
"It’s five o'clock somewhere," Lizzy cheers.
And soon, a round of daiquiris comes to the table.
We laugh and joke about old times until finally we leave to go to Lizzy's fitting.
Being in the bridal shop is surreal. All those dresses, the veils, the lace and the tule make this such a magical place. Lizzy excitedly disappears into a fitting room while Beth and I sit waiting with glasses of champagne in our hands.
Since I was a child I have been imagining and remaining the day I find my very own wedding dress and plan my wedding. Of course, the plans change almost everytime I think about it, but still, I thought I'd end up here eventually.
This wasn't supposed to be about Ethan, I try to admonish myself. Not when I’ve been having so much fun with my friends.
Lizzy walks out and I burst into tears. I dab at my eyes but the tears keep coming. I feel a weight on my chest, a lump in my throat.
A combination of emotions explodes out of me in a flood of tears.
