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I lost the one person who meant the world to me—my nightlight in the darkness.
The person who was my strength. My hope. My second reason for living.
The person who became my shield against our father’s wrath.
The person who saved me from death more than once.
There are no words to describe losing a sibling. Josiah was more than a brother to me. He was my best friend and my other half. When he died, a part of me died along with him.
My head is swimming with images of Josiah alone, struggling with his inner demons, trying to find solace.
The guilt iskillingme.
Thinking of him and what he must’ve gone through, it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. A terrible weight falls onto my shoulders as I lay still on the bed.
My throat tightens as I take in a breath.
“Shorty?”
I clench my eyes shut and absorb Donnie’s calm voice to soothe the ache in my chest.
“Baby, can you open your eyes for me?” he rubs his nose against my cheek.
I breathe in his woodsy scent.
“Shorty, please. Open your eyes, baby.Please,” he begs.
“I’m so sorry about Josiah. I’m so sorry.” The agony in Donnie’s voice shatters me into a million pieces, and everything darkens.
* * *
My eyelids flutter when I hear voices around me. I open my eyes and glance around the room to see Donnie and the doctor having a serious conversation.
I clear my throat, and Donnie immediately rises to his feet and strides toward me.
“Hey.” He gives me a warm smile.
“Hey.” My voice cracks. I lick my dry lips and point to the water pitcher on the table beside me.
Donnie follows my finger and pours me a cup of water.
“Here you go.” I take the cup from his hand when he sits beside me.
“Hi, Sadie. I’m Dr. Morales. How are you feeling today?”
I swallow and hand the cup back to Donnie.
“Um, okay, I guess.”
He nods.
Donnie and the doctor exchange hesitant looks.
“What’s going on?” I look between Donnie and Dr. Morales.
Donnie swallows. “Shorty, they need you to identify your”—he pauses—“brother’s body.” Tears well up in his bright blue eyes.
“Wh-why?”
