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I knowwhyhe is here, and I fear he will bust through the door if I don’t open it. With trembling hands, I swallow a massive gulp of fear and approach the door at a snail’s pace.
Unlocking the door, I swing it open. Before I can process what is happening, Donnie bursts into my childhood home like an angry bull, ready to charge its horns into my heart. He slams the door shut with his foot and crowds my space.
His nostrils flare, eyes wild, filled with betrayal, and hurt ghosts his face.
I gently touch his chest, trying to push him back. “Donnie, I—”
“No. You’ve done enough talking. It’s my turn,” he growls.
The fear I swallowed is making its way up my throat. And it’s not that I’m afraid of him because I know he will never hurt me, but the fear that hurting him will revert him to his old ways.
“I want to know about this agreement you and my father made.”
Oh, shit.
“You are not leaving me, and you sure as hell don’t get to keep my baby from me and rob me of every moment of my baby growing inside of you,” he shoots back.
“Donnie, I need you to calm down.” My voice is stern.
“Calm down?” he scoffs, walking past me toward the living room. He looks around, shock written all over his face, but it soon changes to disappointment when he looks at me.
“You never planned on telling me you were selling the house or weren’t coming with me to Tennessee, were you?” The pain in his voice makes it evident that I hurt him. If only he knew I was doing this to protect him—to protect his future.
When I don’t respond, he shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Does it make you happy knowing you’re ripping out my heart?”
“Donnie.” My shoulders slump, and sadness wreaks havoc on my soul. I reach out to him, but he takes a step back.
Tears of regret fill my eyes.
“Why are you trying to keep my kid from me?” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence.
“No, Donnie. It isn’t like that, I swear,” I plead for him to understand.
“No? Then tell me what it’s supposed to be like.” He stares at me with his deep blue eyes full of anguish. I wish I could take his pain away, but I can’t risk him ruining his future.
I walk toward him, placing my hands on his hard chest. “You are not losing me, and you are not losing this baby.” I grab his face in my hands. “I love you so much. I need you to focus on school and your career. And the only way you can do that is if I’m not with you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Shorty!” He runs his hand roughly through his hair as he paces the room.
He releases a hard exhale. “Shorty, I want you in my life.” He walks toward me and holds my face tenderly, gliding the pad of his thumb across my cheek down to the curve of my jaw.
“Don’t you get it? God dammit. You are not just in my life. YouAREmy life, my everything. You keep me grounded. I won’t survive again if you are not by my side.”
I inhale, taking in his manly scent that drives me wild. I grab his wrists and pull his hands away from my face. “I love you, Donnie. I always have, and always will, but I…”
He steps away from me as if I lit a match and burned him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it, Shorty.” He throws his hands in the air like he’s defeated.
“What are you afraid of?” His voice is full of emotions. “Do you think I won’t take care of you?”
“Are you serious?” I ask, shocked that even crossed his mind. I canonlyever love him for eternity.
“What the hell else am I supposed to think?” He looks to the side and huffs out a cold, brittle laugh.
“You’re supposed to trust me and believe that this decision is what’s best for both of us. I still don’t know what’s going to happen with Mom. I need to be here for her and for Abuela. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t matter to me, or that I love you any less.”
I grab his face once again, forcing him to look at me. “You are the love of my life. I am not going anywhere. We will talk daily. We will Facetime. I will send you pictures each month as my belly grows. We will make time for each other, I promise. Let me be the one tosave you,” I plead with him.
We stand face to face without speaking, each of us breathing heavily.
