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“So,” I tented my hands in front of me, concentrating on them hard. “As much as I want to believe we still love each other and we can be together finally, I don’t want Teagan choosing to be with me out of some sense of guilt over the past.”
Jensen sighed heavily. “She does feel guilty and so do I, but since we’re being honest; I tried to make the marriage real, but her heart has never been in it. She didn’t want to marry me in the first place, and we didn’t until right before Remi was born. She was mad that I went to her dad, and she was going to tell us both to go screw off, quit school and follow you to England. But then the phone call happened and she lost it. Do you know about that?”
“Just. Teagan told me recently.”
“Well, I’ve never seen someone so fucked up as Teagan was, over that. She cried all the time, and she wasn’t eating. I think she was still hoping you’d come back, and she secretly refused to believe you’d ever betray her like that. It was as if finding out you were less than she thought you were was the worst thing that could happen to her. She worshiped you, man. No way I could compete with that, but I didn’t know how to help her other than marry her.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the sofa, hating that I’d made her feel that way for even one split second. “You could have helped by calling me. From where I was sitting, it felt like I was the one being betrayed and hung out to dry. All that stuff you just said she suffered was happening to me, too. When neither one of you would return my calls, I went crazy. I felt completely abandoned by the two people who I trusted the most.”
“Teagan was so destroyed I thought a clean break was best. Honestly, Chase, it wasn’t a malicious attempt to fuck you up. I was afraid she wouldn’t be strong enough to resist calling you, and I couldn’t take the chance that woman would answer again. I got new phones because I seriously thought she’d do something stupid.”
“I know the feeling.”
Jensen frowned at me and huffed softly. “Then you shouldn’t have let that superstar bullshit go to your head. You should have known Teagan would find out you were screwing around.”
“I wasn’t screwing around!” I said vehemently. Jensen had been my best friend and he knew how much Teagan meant to me, so I was stunned that either one would think something so completely ludicrous. Hearing him question me made my teeth clench. “I have no idea how Bronwyn got a hold of my phone, but it wasn’t because we were fucking, and that’s the truth!”
His head snapped around. “So it was her,” he accused. “I figured. How’d you hook up with that narcissistic bitch, anyway?”
“I didn’t. Until last year.”
“What?” Jensen seemed incredulous.
“She’s been trying for years, but it took me a long time to take her up on it. I was trying to feel better.”
“Where is she? I assumed she’d be with you for the surgery.”
“Sent her packing a few days ago when I found out about the phone call.”
“Oh. If this whole thing was a huge misunderstanding, we’ve all paid one hell of a price. Especially that little girl in there.” Jensen used the thumb on his right hand to point at Remi, still asleep behind the glass.
“Sadly, I agree. I wish it weren’t so.”
“Seriously, Chase. This is the truth. I didn’t try to steal Teagan from you. It’s just that I did care about her and when I saw what you did—” He stopped to relent. “What I thought you did; I’m not gonna lie, I was furious at you. Teagan was so fragile and she was my friend; I felt someone had to step up to help her when her bastard dad cut her loose just because she wouldn’t get an abortion. And after the phone call, I couldn’t turn my back on her.”
I covered my eyes with my hand as hatred for Teagan’s dad exploded inside my mind and heart. “All you had to do was confront me and this whole thing would have been avoided.”
“You’re right. I should have caught a flight and beat the shit out of you.”
Air whooshed out of my lungs as I huffed. The whole thing hurt because so much was ruined for nothing.
Jensen held out a hand waiting for me to take it. I hesitated just a beat before shaking his hand. “I’m really sorry, man. I hope at some point we can be friends again,” he said.
“Me, too. All I ask is that you never tell me any of the intimate details of your time with Teagan. Ever.”
“Understandable.” He turned his attention back to the baseball game without denying they’d ever slept together, and that was more information than I needed. “All I ask is that I get to be in Remi’s life. I love her like she’s my own, and my parents would be devastated if we lost her. Teagan promised that wouldn’t happen.”
“Understood,” I repeated, knowing I’d already figure that out for myself. “I’d never do anything to hurt Remi, Jensen. The more people she has around her who love her, the better.”
“Except if you take them to England, I won’t get to see her much.”
Boom. There it was. It wasn’t as if that very thing hadn’t crossed my mind at least fifty times since Teagan and I admitted we loved each other. Was it selfish to want what should have been mine in the first place? My mind said it wasn’t, but my new perspective made it harder.
“Teagan and I haven’t made any concrete plans, J. You’re still married, and Remi has a lot of recovery in front of her.” I couldn’t believe how hard it was to admit he was the one married to her instead of me. “I don’t want to push Teagan into anything. I’d feel better if the divorce wasn’t because of me.”
“It is about you, Chase. It always has been. Even if you weren’t here, we’d still be getting a divorce, and it still would’ve been about you.” He didn’t seem angry, just matter of fact. The baseball game was ending and he picked up the remote and began switching channels. “You need to wrap your head around that.”
I was honestly surprised by how calm Jensen was. I thought he’d be heartbroken or at least, mad as hell. If he was hurt, he was hiding it well and I had no intention of provoking a deeper reaction by not letting the subject drop, there was one more thing to mention.
