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My heart fell like a stone into the pit of my stomach. If I never heard Jensen say Chase’s name like that again, it would be too soon. “It’s a gift for Remi so she can come home.”
“Is he staying at the house?”
“No, he has a room in a hotel near the hospital.” I didn’t volunteer that I’d invited Chase to stay in the spare room. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Jensen had a right to feel threatened and resentful, but Chase might be able to save Remi and he was more magnanimous than I had a right to expect.
“That’s something, at least” he sounded more relieved.
“Jensen, please. Chase could have told me to fuck off when I told him about Remi. He has every right to turn his back and never look back, but instead, he’s more than willing to help.” Emotion made my voice shake even though I tried to keep it even. “He might be Remi’s last hope and I’m praying to God he’s a match... no matter what happens afterward. Please, can we get through the next month?”
He sighed heavily into the phone. “Yeah.”
The doorbell rang again and I tried to clear the tears out of my voice. “Thank you. I have to go finish up. See you when you get back.”
I rushed to the door as the call ended, opening it to find Kat standing on the doorstep, her round face lit up when she saw me. A second later I was clamped into a tight hug. “Hi, honey!
“Hi! I was starting to get worried!” I raised my voice above the machines. I felt like I’d been yelling at Jensen on the phone, and speaking with Kat in person was almost as difficult. “Sorry about the noise!”
Kat waved away my comment with casual dismissal. “No worries! I had a flat tire on I-85.” Her face twisted wryly and she offered an over-exaggerated shrug before I ushered her inside.
“Oh, no!”
“Dave says if something’s gonna happen, then it’s gonna happen to me. It’s a good thing he taught me how to swap out the donut,” Kat laughed softly, pulling a small roller bag behind her through the entryway. The house was older; mid-1970s but it had been updated. When we moved in it was wall-to-wall carpet even in the kitchen, but we’ve installed laminated hardwood in the kitchen, dining room and bathrooms. It was a modest 3-bedroom, but it was nice. I considered Kat would get a room at the same hotel where Chase was staying, but her suitcase indicated she was planning on staying at the house. “He says I’m a trouble magnet.”
I smiled nervously; mentally registering nearby tire shops so we could get it fixed the following day. “I appreciate that he agreed to let you come for a visit. The spare room is down the hall, first door on the left.” Her visit was a bit sudden and being preoccupied with Chase and Remi; I hadn’t thought it all through.
“We can get to that later! How’s Remi doing with Chase?”
I paused to meet her eyes, unable to make light of it. “They’re amazing, Kat. It’s more than I could have hoped for. She looks at him like he hung the moon, and he’s just— incredible with her. He’s a natural.”
The love I had for both of them filled me to the point of bursting, but it was painfully overshadowed by the lost time and the consequences of the decisions I’d made. The regret was intense and I knew it would never leave my heart.
“I knew he would be. He’s great with my boys and Kevin’s girls.” Kat smiled, but seeing the crease on my forehead and the emotion grimacing my face, thankfully changed the subject. “Okay, put me to work! What can I do?” Kat was dressed in jeans, a casual white tank top, and cheap pink flip-flops. Her enthusiasm and get-down-to-business demeanor was a welcome foil for my exhaustion and helped me to push past the sadness.
“Would you like something to eat or drink, first?” I was anxious to find out if she’d spoken to Chase, but I felt awkward asking.
“Maybe a glass of water, thanks.” She nodded. “I’ll just stash my stuff in the spare room, then?” she asked.
“That would be great.”
Kat turned down the hall and I quickly went into the kitchen to get her a glass of filtered water from the refrigerator. I’d kept in touch with her periodically, but had only seen her twice since Chase and I broke up. The day she confronted me, and once right after Remi got sick when we held a fundraiser and she and David attended. Since then, she called me about once a month. My heart was sick that she couldn’t really be in my life, but how could I ask that of her? It was already a burden to keep Remi a secret, and I didn’t want to add to it.
When she came back from the bedroom, she took the glass and looked at me with compassionate eyes.
“I know I look like hell,” I said dully, suddenly conscious of my appearance. I pushed my long hair off of my face and shoved it behind my right ear.
“You look tired, that’s all.” Kat reached out and rubbed up and down my left arm. Her understanding tone was comforting. “You’ve been through a lot in the last few days.”
“Really, it’s been years,” I admitted as I pulled out a chair and sat down, nodding to the one across from me. She took the hint and joined me at the table. “Seeing Chase has been emotional; topped off with the stress of not knowing that he is Remi’s last hope,” I stopped and put a hand to the nagging ache in my forehead. “It’s just a lot to deal with.”
“I understand. For Chase, too.”
I nodded and bit my lip, trying not to cry. “I know. I’m such an awful person, Kat.” My throat was tight and I struggled to speak over the thickness. “I can’t stand seeing him in pain. The years haven’t changed one damn thing for me.”
“I understand,” she said softly. “It wasn’t just the tire that slowed me down. I went to see Chase, too.”
My breath left my lungs in surprise. “Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I froze, waiting for a bomb to go off. She would have seen how this was affecting him and maybe he wouldn’t have been so guarded with her. While I wanted to know how he was dealing with everything, I was also afraid of the answer. I was terrified she’d say he hated me. Contempt was the last emotion I wanted to inspire within Chase.
“I can’t sugarcoat it, Teagan. He’s reeling, and… railing, a bit. We should expect that.”
