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“The hardest part will be that she’ll be in isolation and I won’t be able to comfort her.”
Chase paused and looked at me. “You’re an excellent mother, Teagan. Remi doesn’t lack love, and she adores you.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. I wanted to tell him I could already tell what an amazing father he was going to make, but I couldn’t without making him remember what he’d lost, or rather what I’d stolen, and that was the last thing I wanted to make him feel.
“Hopefully everything will work out and you can get back to your life.” There it was. Damn Bronwyn and the way she’d reminded me that he’d been unfaithful before anything else happened. I couldn’t help blurting the words.
He stopped eating and locked eyes with me, reaching out to lay one of his hands on mine. “I want to talk to you about that.”
I pulled my hand out from under his, involuntarily, my emotions overruling my head. “There isn’t anything to talk about. Let’s not let old baggage get in the way of keeping the focus on Remi.”
Chase was taken aback; frozen for a split second before he shoved his chair back and threaded his hands together, resting them on the top of his head. “What are you talking about? Old baggage? I thought we’d turned a corner.”
“We have,” I answered stiffly. “I’m sorry, Chase. I just don’t want to be presumptuous and you can still be Remi’s dad without changing your life. I’ll never keep you from each other again.”
“Okay, what the fuck just happened?” he demanded.
I felt pensive and sad in the face of his anger. “Nothing. Just a reality check.”
He shook his head angrily, huffing out of his nose. “Tell me what Bronwyn said to you right goddamned now, Teagan!” His voice was low and controlled, but fierce. “I thought we were moving forward.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “We were. We are. It’s just that when I’m with you, I forget a bunch of shit that muddies the waters in real life, but there is so much to deal with.”
“I know, and we will.”
“Will we?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed and he ran a hand over his mouth and jaw. “Yes.”
“I just don’t want to pressure you into anything. I know you’re feeling—”
“Don’t fucking tell me how I feel! I already have one woman trying to do that.”
“I’m not trying to, Chase!” I felt panicked, feeling any progress we’d made slip away. It was my fault for letting Bronwyn needle me. No matter if he did have sex with her while he and I were still together, it was ancient history, even if it still hurt. “I just want you to know for sure what you want.”
“Yeah, well obviously, we need to talk.”
“When do you suggest we do that?” I was exasperated. With Bronwyn here and hovering, I couldn’t see how it would be possible unless he lied to her about any time he spent with me. Jensen and I had come to our conclusions and it was just about logistics, but Chase didn’t know that yet, either.
“We had some time the other night. We can again.”
My heart literally fell into my stomach and my eyes implored him to think about what he just said. “Making love doesn’t solve the problems. It just lets us forget for a little while.”
“Yes, we should have talked, it’s just that—” Chase paused and leaned in toward me so he could lower his voice. The hospital cafeteria wasn’t any better to have a meaningful conversation than the waiting room had been. “I can’t ignore what’s happening between us, Teagan. I don’t want to.”
“What about Bronwyn? I don’t want you to have to lie to her to spend time with me. Even to talk.” There. I said it. I looked down at my lap and then my eyes flew up to meet his.
“Uhhhh,” he said urgently. The hand he’d laid on the table curled into a fist. “I didn’t plan for her to be here. I didn’t ask her to be here, and I don’t want her here.”
“Even if she wasn’t in Atlanta now, she is still an issue.”
“You mean, like Jensen?” he threw back.
I opened my mouth to speak and then shut it. I nodded. “Yes. We can’t forget they exist and just fall into a little fairytale world where Remi is fine and we can be a family.” My throat felt thick and my words broke. “Even if I want to.”
“Teagan,” his hand reached for mine again and this time I didn’t pull away. “I don’t know how this bullshit is going to work out, but I love you. I want us to be together. I want Remi and more like her.”
His words were like a magic balm and I wanted desperately to believe him. But after what Bronwyn had just said and knowing that he wouldn’t have seen me again if it weren’t for Remi, I had to wonder if his feelings weren’t confused.
