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It was hard to see but there was a large tree to one side of the dirt parking lot. “Pull under that oak,” I instructed. “At least until the hail stops.”
She did as I suggested, put the car in park and shut off the engine. The large canopy of the tree provided some reprieve, but the car was still being hit. Her car would have a lot of damage after this storm.
I watched her hands tighten on the steering wheel as her body tensed and she continued to cry. I wanted to reach out and pull her close, but I was wet, and I needed to clear the air. As we sat there in car, I struggled for words as she remained silent. “Remi, for Christ’s sake, say something.”
When she didn’t speak, I was forced to continue. “Christy knew I spent at least part of my summers at the ranch every year, and she made reservations because she wanted to surprise me, but that was months ago. I didn’t invite her. How you can even think so after how things were between us is unbelievable to me.”
“I saw her with you. I saw how she was all over you and you let her. Are you asking me to ignore my own eyes?” The words burst out of her, and she looked at me accusingly. Looking at her, I couldn’t believe how the loving look that was on her face just a week before was replaced with this hateful scowl. “I just can’t worry about other women. I can’t think about you with anyone else, and it’s going to be part of your life! It’s inevitable.”
I looked away, completely shaken. My jaw jutted out in defiance. What the hell was she talking about? “Do you think how it felt when we made love didn’t change me? Do you think it’s been like that with anyone else? Jesus, Remi!”
She shook her head and put her forehead on the steering wheel, her shoulders shaking softly. “I don’t know! I had to learn to live without you and reconcile we’d never be more than friends… then I saw you after the game, and it was like we were never apart. But the fact is, wewillbe apart. And temptations will happen. I just…”
“Temptations will happen…” I spat. “You think so little of me that I’m led around by my dick? That’s just fucking great, Remi! You may have temptations, too! Should I assume you’re going to fuck the first guy that wants to date you?” I was heartbroken, but furious.
“Why were you touching her? It hurt me so much!” she shot back, then wiped at her tears.
I turned in my seat to face her. My face was hot with emotion, and I knew she had to see my anger. “Because if I rebuked her, she’d turned into a shrieking banshee in front of the ranchers! It’s still a business, and I couldn’t do that to Aunt Marin and Uncle Ben. After you left, I told her we were done for good, which you would have known if you’d answer my calls or texts. If you wouldn’t have run away like an immature little girl!”
Her mouth dropped open as if I’d slapped her. After her initial gasp she was speechless for a moment, but then sprang into action. “You’ve got to get out!”
She turned on the car and sped out into the storm. The windshield wipers were on full blast but couldn’t clear the window before it was covered in rain. Remi was forced to slow down as she drove to the nearest motel without saying another word, though she was crying harder.
“Get! Out!” She was almost screaming. “Get out!”
“I never thought I’d come here and tell you what really happened at the ranch and not be believed,” I said calmly. I felt defeated. Lost. “I’m the one who should be indignant.” I turned to look at her. I was sad, but seething. “You don’t trust me. Since we were six years old, I’ve been here for you, and obviously, none of that means a damn thing.”
“Until you weren’t,” she said brokenly.
I huffed in disgust. My entire world was crumbling and there didn’t seem to be a damn thing I could say to stop it. She wasn’t listening. “That’s not fair, Remi. You ran awaythen, too.”
“I can’t take any more of this, Dylan. I need to focus on school. You have your soccer career. It’s just less painful to go back to the way it was.”
One hand clamped down on the door handle and the other clutched my duffle bag. “You’re a coward, Remi. We could have everything if you’d just reach out and take it.”
A sob burst forth and her face crumpled. I wanted to take her in my arms, but she felt so distant and detached from me that I could barely breathe.
“I want to believe you, I do. For what feels like forever I’ve had to watch other women fawn all over you and it broke my heart so many times. I can’t do it anymore. I’d come to a place where it was getting easier and I’d accepted my life, and now I’m back at square one. If you love me, let me move on.”
“IfI love you?” I was incredulous. My world splintered into a million pieces, but I couldn’t leave her without showing her how I felt. I reached out and grabbed her arms and pulled her toward me, and my lips crashed into hers. I was angry, and hungry and I kissed her deeply. Remi’s hands came up to grab my shoulders as she gave in to the kiss. Our tongues laved as we kissed, and I sucked her tongue into my mouth. Gradually, I lessened the pressure of my mouth and pulled away. I let go of her arms and grabbed my duffle again, meeting her green eyes.
“If you want me gone, I’m gone, but remember this, Remelia Forrester; no one will ever touch you, kiss you, or love you like I do. No one will ever touch you here or here.” I touched her chest over here heart and her forehead. “Go ahead and try to forget me. You can’t. Even if you never see me again, you can’t!” I said through gritted teeth. “We are forever!”
I opened the door and got out into the pouring rain, slamming it behind me. I walked into the hotel without looking back. I sucked in a breath and blinked at the blurry tears in my eyes.
If Remi didn’t want to be part of my life, well, I’d give her what she damn well wanted, I thought defiantly.
The trouble was… forever worked both ways.
Remi
Without thinking I drove into the storm and back toward my apartment. Between my tears and the deluge on the windshield, I could barely see where I was going.
The car was already full of dings by now and I didn’t even care. In less than a week, I was driving away from Dylan for the second time. On my way home from the hospital I’d seen him walking in the rain. I couldn’t help driving a half of a block past the driveway and gate of my apartment complex and pick him up.
In the week since I’d been back in Memphis, I had completely immersed myself in volunteering and working with young cancer patients. When I was with them, it was easy not to think about Dylan, what happened at the ranch, and how heartbroken I was. Once I got home at the end of the day, it was more difficult to push it to the back of my mind and I was tormented. I spent long hours on the blood cancer ward and today was no different. I was just coming off a fifteen-hour day.
A part of me that wanted to believe what he’d saidl; our relationship could work and that I could trust we could survive the separation. I wanted to have hope that we could work it out, but I felt so fragile, my heart beaten and bruised.
