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Prologue
Iris
“Love: the impulse of the heart that carries us towards another. It can be recognized by its intensity, by the speed with which it appears and takes control of our being,” and blah-blah-blah. Who seriously believes in this definition?
And then there’s that chubby little cupid who shoots an arrow right through your heart, stupidly forgetting that you need it to live.
Do you want my opinion? Love, the real kind, the one that takes you to the gut, it’s bullshit.
At least, that’s what I thought…until I met Tucker.
1. Find Your Place
Iris
A shrill ringtone echoes through the walls of my apartment as I run to find my damn bag.
I’m late.
I trip in the hallway and catch myself on the dresser with one hand. One more inch and my toe would’ve hit the corner of the furniture, and we all know how painful that is.
Note to self: move this furniture as soon as possible. Oh, and wake up on time the next few days.
I hate people who are late, and I hate being late myself. I’m usually organized but, go figure, not today. Probably the stress of the move.
The noise continues to pierce my eardrums, and I finally find my phone between two cushions of the sofa. Hallelujah.
“Yeah?” I ask, gasping for breath.
With my car keys in hand, I slam the door to the apartment and hear my Aunt Emma’s voice on the other end.
“Your sister had another tantrum, Iris,” she begins in her unpleasant voice. “When I agreed to take her into my home, I expected a minimum of maturity from her.”
The way she says “take her”—as if my little sister were a stray dog—makes my anger rise, which I am unfortunately obliged to swallow. I rest my head against the lacquered wood of the door and sigh, clutching the phone.
You stupid bitch.
I restrain myself from repeating it out loud and answer through clenched teeth. “She’s having a panic attack. Comfort her.”
I hear my sister crying behind her and imagine her alone, devastated. Her young age hasn’t helped her accept the situation; unlike I thought it would.
“Maybe leaving Portland now wasn’t such a good idea,” Emma continues in a reproachful tone.
On the contrary, it was the only good idea I’ve had in the last few months. The only solution that allowed me to keep my head above water. A fresh start to keep me from drowning in my nightmares. If I had stayed, I would have been lost forever.
“Pass the phone to her,” I say, running down the two floors in a hurry.
“I’ve got a meeting in thirty minutes, so fix this,” my aunt continues in a tense voice.
No doubt that taking in a nine-year-old girl was not part of her plans. A few months ago—eight, to be exact—her life was turned upside-down while my sister’s and mine were destroyed.
Unfortunately, the judge’s decision was final. My sister was placed in Emma’s care.Without the financial resources, I was deemed too unstable and too precarious to care for a 9-year-old girl.The judge’s words against me loop back into my head, tightening my throat a little more.
I hear a sniffle through the handset, and my heart squeezes as I settle into my semi-functioning Chevrolet.
“Sweetie?”
The sniffling gets louder, interspersed with heavy breathing.
