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He doesn’t seem to mind and walks out of the house with a carefree air. I walk into absolute chaos. Music resounds in all the rooms. I don’t see Yeleen anywhere. I don’t recognize anyone, in fact. Two guys near me who are snorting lines of cocaine. Where the hell did I end up?
I hear a high-pitched laugh on my right and recognize it immediately. I follow it and find Yeleen dancing in the middle of the improvised dance floor, a red cup in each hand. She drinks and then continues to sing off key, not caring about anything. I look around for Trey. I want to punch him in the face.
At the same time, a guy approaches Yeleen and tries to touch her butt. She laughs, not even realizing the situation. I walk towards them, a murderous look on my face.
“Get out of my way,” I order the guy, pulling Yeleen towards me.
The latter opens her eyes wide. Sweat is dripping down her forehead, and her dark skin is burning.
“Iris? Oh, my God, I’m sooooo glad to see you,” she exclaims as she pulls me close, both arms around my neck.
I hold back an expletive as cheap beer splashes down my back and abruptly removes the cups from her hands.
“No,” she complains in a small, childish voice, “I’m thirsty.”
“If you want to drink, drink water,” I mutter, pulling her behind me toward the exit. “Let’s go home. I’ll take you home.”
She lets go of my hand, managing to break free of my grip. I don’t have time to think about it before she disappears from my sight.
“You’re a pain in the ass,” I shout at her back as I follow after her.
I look for her for a two good minutes before a man runs into me.
“Oh, excuse me,” a hoarse voice says in my ear.
I turn towards the man to see who it is. He has a big smile on his face, but his look is evil. Matt. That bastard. I walk by him to get away, but his hand wraps around my right bicep, holding me back.
“Where are you going, little cub?” he whispers as his boozy breath hits my face.
“Wherever you’re not,” I say, pulling on my arm. I stare him straight in the eye. “Get off me before I crush the tiny pair of balls that hang between your legs.”
He laughs softly, and his eyes get a little darker. He’s having fun.
“You have a big mouth, I like that. You like to act tough.”
“Just like you like to take advantage of drunk girls. To each his own,” I growl, freeing myself from his grip.
This idiot hurt me, but there’s no way I’m going to show my pain. I keep my fingers from running over the skin on my arm.
“Oh, so you know,” he smiles before running his tongue over his lips.
Tucker sometimes does this gesture when he’s focused, but seeing Matt do it makes me want to throw up.
He stands in front of me for a second. “But you don’t really know who I am.” His hand goes up to my face as if he’s about to caress it. “And I think I like you. A word of advice—”
I slap his hand away abruptly, pulling it away like a bug circling around me. “You disgust me,” I cut him off. “Try to touch me again and you’ll regret it. I’m not a shy virgin who’s going to tremble before you. Believe me, it’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”
I don’t wait for his answer before walking away. I can hear him laughing behind my back as if he liked my answer.
You sick bastard.
Frustrated that I can’t find Yeleen in the kitchen, I step outside to find her staggering toward her car a few feet away, her keys spinning in her hands. An unpleasant memory takes possession of me without asking my permission.
It imposes itself, and I relive it, powerless.
***
I’m doing something wrong. And if my parents are watching me from up there, they’re probably disappointed. But I don’t care. I just need to forget this shit, their murder. Just for a moment. This last month has been beyond difficult. I tried not to sink, but I failed. The people most important to me have been taken from me. My heart was taken, trampled on, and then given back to me to deal with it. I wasn’t strong enough to be okay. And that’s when my downward spiral began.
