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Regardless, that grief is always with me. It never goes away. It’s just something I’ve learned to carry with me. As has Rory, although most days it seems she struggles with the weight of her grief, regardless of the passing of years.
Clearing my throat, I turn toward AJ. “Why don’t you get your football gear? I’ll take you to the pitch and we’ll kick the ball around for a while. Give your mum a break.”
AJ’s eyes light up. Like his dad, he loves being out on the pitch and playing football. “Be right back.”
He dashes up the stairs, his heavy footfalls making it sound like a herd of elephants instead of a nine-year-old boy.
“Thanks,” Rory says, meeting my gaze. “I’m not sure what came over me. I just… This time of year is always hard. Even more so since you weren’t around for the anniversary of his death.”
I hang my head, pushing out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I should have been here for you.”
She places her hand on my chest. “It’s okay. Prince Gabriel needed you more.”
“I know.”
After Anderson collapsed during a public event in the States, I knew I needed to stay with him, even though he claimed it was just due to exhaustion and the heat. While I trust my team and know they wouldn’t let anything happen to him, I could tell he was going through something. And it’s a good thing I chose to stay, considering everything that transpired over the past several weeks. From him buying a Jeep Wrangler on a whim. To his decision to drive across America. To him meeting a woman and falling in love.
To him finally coming clean about his MS diagnosis.
To everything going up in flames.
“I still wish I could have been here for you.”
“Well, you’re here now.” She forces a smile. “I understand the Princess Royal is also back. I saw footage of her on the tele with that actor boyfriend of hers.”
I furrow my brows, unsure why Rory’s bringing up Esme. It seems out of the blue. Or maybe it’s just my guilty conscience rearing its head, even though I don’t have anything to be guilty about. I saw Esme. Spoke to her briefly. Fantasized about cutting off Tristan Hughes’ hands because he gets to touch her. Other than that, it was an uneventful interaction. Awkward, stilted, and painful. But uneventful all the same.
“Did you see her?” she asks when I don’t immediately respond.
“I was at Wintervale when they arrived.”
“How is she?”
I shrug noncommittally. “Fine, I suppose. Worried about her brother.”
“Did she mention if she was planning to stay indefinitely?”
“We didn’t talk for long. I imagine she wants to get back to her life as soon as possible.”
She opens her mouth, hesitating before snapping her lips closed.
“Why? Did you hear something?”
Granted, anything Rory may have overheard should be taken with a grain of salt. Or an entire shaker. The gossip she hears at the office sometimes is just that…gossip.
But sometimes she does have reliable information.
“It could be nothing,” she says quickly. “But His Majesty called an emergency meeting of the privy council this morning. Afterwards, his Head of Household met with Princess Esme’s former private secretary, Lieutenant Hawkins, seemingly to discuss him resuming his previous duties. Which he would only do if Princess Esme were to resumeherduties, as well.”
I blink, a heaviness settling on my chest.
It was one thing for Esme to visit Anderson after he received his diagnosis. It’s another to think she might stay.
Truthfully, the thought never crossed my mind. Based on the things Anderson’s mentioned in passing, she’s never had any intention of resuming her role as a senior member of the royal family. Not with the freedom she discovered once she left, no longer needing to worry about whether her actions are on “message” for the royal family. She’s spearheaded women’s rights marches in support of reproductive rights. Protested against gun violence. Has been vocal about conservation issues.
She won’t be able to be such a staunch advocate for these causes anymore if she stays.
Not to mention, it’ll mean seeing her on a regular basis.
