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Although with each passing day, I become more uncertain of what that is.
“Growing up how he did had a lasting effect on him,” I continue.
“So much that he refused to support you in fulfilling your duty? Your birthright?”
“It’s not as simple as that. When we first started dating, I’d insisted I had no intention of returning to this life. And I hadn’t. I was still angry about everything the royal household put me through. Everything myfatherput me through.”
“And now?”
“Now things are different. At least my father is. I’m willing to put up with the bullshit if that’s what it takes to make a positive change in other’s lives. But Tristan…” I shake my head. “He’d have to give up his career if we were to ever marry.”
“And he’s not willing to do that?” Creed asks hesitantly.
“I’mnot willing to ask him to do that. He loves what he does. Loves bringing a story to life. Watching him on set…” A small smile curves my lips, a tightness in my throat. “You can tell how passionate he is about it, despite how stressful it can be. There’s also his pharmaceutical company and other charitable foundations. I can’t take that away from him.”
“So it was a mutual thing?” Creed asks as we emerge from Central Park, honking horns and sirens surrounding us. Even after midnight, the chaos of New York City shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.
“More or less,” I respond noncommittally.
It didn’t feel mutual at the time. It still doesn’t. But I don’t want to get into all those gritty details right now. Don’t want to confess that I didn’t even try to fight for Tristan to stay. Didn’t tell him we’d find a way to make things work.
As we enter the luxurious hotel, Creed touches a hand to my elbow, eyes scanning the lobby, obviously back in bodyguard mode. Or maybe it’s just a habit with him. He lives most of his life constantly looking for any and all threats. I doubt he can turn it off simply because he’s not technically on the clock.
My heels click on the marble tile as we walk toward the elevator bank and step inside a waiting car. The second the door closes with a soft whoosh, I’m instantly aware of how tiny this space is with Creed’s overwhelming presence, the air between us crackling with an electricity potent enough to power Manhattan for the next century.
It would be so easy to pull him toward me and press my lips to his, giving me a taste of what I’ve imagined for too long now.
What I’ve missed for too long now.
My god, I want to. I’ve thought of little else since I nearly kissed him the morning after the attack. Hell, since I first arrived back in Belmont and learned the chemistry between us was still there. If anything, it’s even more intense, a wildfire burning brighter with every sly glance and thoughtful declaration shared between us.
With a sudden jolt, the elevator dings loudly, ripping me out of my fantasy. A faint crease forms between Creed’s brow and he narrows his eyes on me.
“You okay?”
“Of course.” I hurry off the elevator, making my way down the hallway and toward my room. “Was just daydreaming for a minute,” I add in the hopes he doesn’t press the issue.
The last thing I want is to confess I startled because I was imagining him pinning me against the elevator wall and kissing me like he did all those years ago, leaving me breathless. Thoughtless. Mindless.
“Thanks for tonight,” I tell him once we reach my room. “It’s exactly what I needed, even if I didn’t realize it.”
“It’s exactly what I needed, too.”
With one last nervous smile, I unlock the door and step inside.
But before I can shut the door, he darts out his hand, keeping it open. I suck in a sharp inhale, snapping my gaze toward his.
Indecision flickers in his dark orbs, an internal argument waging in his mind. I can physically feel it. The fight between duty and our hearts. Responsibility and redemption.
Legacy and love.
I know what should win. What all reason tells me he should choose. What he’s chosen time and again.
But this once, I want him to follow his heart.
Because this once, I’m willing to followmyheart.
After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, he sighs and hangs his head, resignation washing over him.
