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ONE
KOST
Icouldn’t bear to look at him. Not for more than a few moments.
Shadows writhed around Gaige, slithering between the cushions and coiling around his legs with abandon. He had no desire to control them. To harness his newfound power as an undying assassin and form weapons out of the darkness. Instead, he let them run wild as if they were beasts he didn’t have the power to charm. His resistance was what had brought me to this quiet alcove. There wasn’t another assassin in sight—rare for the size of our manor and the number of members we housed. The only group I’d passed on my way to the library had been huddled around the coffee table in the parlor, trying to distract themselves with a game of Klimkota. But try as they might, the bright, gem-colored pieces and tiered board could only hold their attention for so long. Gaige’s shadows wreathing the open doorway to the library were impossible to ignore.
And so were the guild members’ whispered concerns.
“What’s going to happen to him?”
“I heard he’s refusing to train.”
“Maybe he should go back to Hireath. He doesn’t want to be here, not really.”
Hireath. When Ocnolog, a legendary dragon beast, rose fromhis underground tomb, he’d destroyed the peaceful beast charmer city. Gone were the elaborate houses built high in the trees. The breathtaking keep that’d been carved out of an alabaster mountain near the falls had been reduced to rubble. The gargantuan tree housing the library—burned to ash. Ocnolog had leveled it all. Set it ablaze and never looked back. There was nothing left but debris, charred trees, and scorched grass. Fortunately, we’d evacuated everyone before he’d awoken. While many used the newfound peace between Wilheim, the capital city of Lendria, and the Charmers to find homes elsewhere, Hireath was still a sacred site. The Charmers Council would not rest until it was restored to its former glory.
Mostof the Charmers Council.
“What do you want?” Gaige asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I’d never heard a more loaded question. There was a veritable number of things I desired from Gaige, but only one wish came to mind in that moment: control. No, safety. I wanted himsafe.
“Why aren’t you training?” My gaze cut to the window behind him, overlooking the back lawns of Cruor. There, my second-in-command, Ozias, and third-in-command, Calem, were running drills with some of the newer members. Gaige hadn’t trained once since his transition from living to undead, from beast charmer to assassin. It’d been over a month, and while I could afford him some leniency to mourn his former life, it was time he started training in earnest.
“Because I don’t want to.” Gaige didn’t bother to look up from his book, instead turning a page painstakingly slowly, as if he enjoyed the gentle scrape of parchment on parchment.
“That’s hardly a reason.” I brushed my hands along my vest before crossing my arms. “Youmusttrain.”
“Imustn’tdo anything.”
Clenching my teeth, I fought back an exasperated huff. “Gaige. This isn’t negotiable. You’re not in control.”
He snapped his book shut and chucked it across the library. It careened past shelves loaded with worn tomes and headed straight for the low-hanging, candlelit chandelier dangling above one of the heavy wooden tables. Just before it hit its mark, shadows leapt from the crevices of the room and snared the book.
“That looks like control to me.” His rich baritone was edged with resentment and something sharp. And I knew that unnamed emotion, the one that felt so much like hatred and disgust, was aimed directly at me.
I opened my mouth to respond when his shadows quivered as if they’d been electrified. They shifted to menacing spires and speared the book, slicing clean through the pages and binding. A flurry of torn parchment churned in the dark chaos of his power until the tendrils finally dissipated, leaving nothing but a pile of shredded pages behind.
My stomach knotted several times over. “I see you and I have different definitions of control.”
Gaige’s jaw tightened, and he looked away.
Learning to wield the shadows was a necessity. If they grew without restraint, uncontained and ravenous, they’d devour their host and pull him or her deep into the shadow realm, never to be seen again. I’d only witnessed such a fate once before. Even then, Talmage, a previous guild master of Cruor, had killed the assassin before the darkness could engulf him entirely. The power behind those virulent ink-black tendrils had been otherworldly.
And Gaige’s shadows were nearly as disastrous.
“You cannot prolong this any longer. You are undead. You walk with the shadows. This is your life now, chosen or not, and it’s time to lead it.”
He shot up from his seat, fists clenched by his side.Glovedfists. “I didnotchoose this life, Kost. I’m dealing with the wretched hand I’ve been dealt, and I’ll do whatever I damn well please with it.”
My brows shot up, and I stepped forward, going toe-to-toe with the man I’d once thought I might love. “Wretched? Is that what you think of this place? Of your brethren? Calem? Ozias?Me?”
His nostrils flared as heat colored his eyes a dangerous shade of steel. He raised his right hand between us and yanked the glove off. I cringed. His faded Charmer’s symbol never ceased to rack my body with guilt. Before, the inked marking had been a vibrant, citrine tree full of life. Now…it was nothing more than a smeared, charcoal etching. A permanent reminder of the beast realm and all the beloved creatures he could no longer access.
All because of me.
“How many times, Kost?” His voice was barely a whisper, but it simmered with so much fury it felt as though he’d shouted. “How many times do we have to have this conversation? You will never comprehend what I lost the day I died.”
