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“It’s no use.” Sweat clung to the collar of his pewter tunic, and he pushed the cuffs of his three-quarter sleeves past his elbows.
“That was good!” Calem clapped his hands together.
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Ozias added.
“Why would I? I can’t get them to hold any shape to save my life. Literally.” His shoulders slumped. “Remember the Mizobats? I couldn’t protect myself then.”
Irritation flared within me, and I grimaced. “And that’s exactly why you should continue to practice.” In a few quick strides, I joined them and folded my arms across my chest. “We can’t afford any more incidents.”
Gaige narrowed his eyes. “Thank you for that obvious reminder.”
“He’s making progress. It just takes time,” Ozias said. “This is my thing, Kost. I can help.” His warm, dark gaze was gentle, but firm.
I wanted to believe him. There was something to be said for his skill as a trainer. New recruits mastered control over the shadows much faster under his guidance than they ever did under my direction. But I’d been silently watching their daily sessions, hoping to spy even the smallest sliver of improvement. I had no doubt Gaige understood Ozias’s teachings. His mind was a magnificent thing, but his efforts, the execution of his drills, felt forced.
There was effort, certainly. And conceptually, I assumed he understood. He never questioned Ozias or Calem about the process of summoning the shadows. Where he faltered was the execution. It was shaky at best, as if he were afraid of what would happen if it solidified into something tangible and real. I knew he never would’ve chosen this life for himself—and that was why he’d refrained from training until now—but his hesitation to fully commit was still apparent. He needed motivation. What that looked like, though, I didn’t know.
“We don’t have time.” Normally, I wouldn’t interfere with Ozias’s methods. There was a chance he could still help Gaige and find that drive that was missing. But Gaige was my responsibility, and I couldn’t seem to keep myself away.
Calem let out an exaggerated sigh. “You’re always so dramatic. He hasn’t lost control in a week.”
“He’s hardly gained any, either.” I said.
“As inspiring as always.” Gaige glowered.
“Incentive will help.” Or at least I hoped it would. “Pack your things. We leave in an hour.”
Ozias frowned. “What? Why?”
“Better question—where?” Calem chimed in.
“Whatever it is, I’ll pass. I’m not interested. We can pick this up when you get back.” Turning on his heels, Gaige started toward the edge of the Kitska Forest. He spent the majority of his time there, searching for undead beasts in the hopes of offering them some reprieve. But each moment he lingered in those dark woods was another moment he could inadvertently release his disastrous shadows and rile the monsters. I needed him to join us both to help assess whether we could tame the rampaging Kitska monsters in the south and to keep him from upsetting more creatures—especially if we weren’t around to subdue them.
“There have been reports of Kitska beasts attacking in Penumbra Glades, just outside of Moeras,” I said to his back, and he stilled. “I assumed you’d want the opportunity to handle the issue.”
Silence stretched between us as the early morning sun crept higher into the sky. I hadn’t entertained the notion that he might decline the journey, and suddenly a new sense of unease stirred in my chest. I could pass it off as uncertainty regarding his power and what he’d do if we weren’t present, but I knew it was more than that, even if I didn’t dare voice it.
Gaige cast me one sidelong look over his shoulder. “I’ll gather my things. Someone will need to check in on Boo while we’re gone. He can’t make the journey in his current state.” As he shifted directions and disappeared into Cruor, Calem and Ozias rounded on me.
“You cannot be serious,” Calem said. The mercury line around his irises flared as he clenched his jaw. “He’s not ready for something like that.”
“I hate to admit it, but I agree with Calem.” Ozias brushed athick hand over his head. “His shadows are still heavily influenced by his emotions.”
“I know that, but perhaps some purpose will help him focus.” My mind rewound to the conversation I had with Noc when he appeared in my office to check in on our situation. Perhaps his suggestion would prove fruitful. “We’re running out of options, and we need to keep Gaige’s mind occupied. An idle mind is what concerns me.”
Or a dreaming mind.I pushed that thought aside and turned toward the manor, Calem and Ozias close behind. They didn’t argue any further, but their unspoken feelings were palpable. They were scared. Not of Gaige, but for him. They knew—or rather, didn’t know—what would happen if the shadows engulfed our newfound family member. While I couldn’t begin to fathom what kind of fate that would entail, I did know one thing for certain: I would do anything and everything to stop it.
No matter the cost.
SEVEN
GAIGE
Every reverberating hoofbeat of our Zeelahs was harsh against the heavy silence. I didn’t have to be a scholar to know that the strained muscles of my brethren’s necks, pursed lips, and white-knuckle grips on their reins were out of the ordinary. And Iwasa scholar.
Of course, our surroundings didn’t help, either. The dense thicket of trees crowded the narrow path, forcing us to travel in tandem. Mangled roots covered in moss puckered through the soft dirt, and our mounts carefully picked their way forward. The morganite stubs nestled between their ears offered a faint, peachy glow that helped them see in the low light of the woods. Roughly twenty hands tall with deerlike frames, it wasn’t exactly easy for Zeelahs to navigate the terrain, but they were hardy. A few errant nicks and bumps from thorn-laden vines and dead branches wouldn’t bother them. Travel to Penumbra Glades would be slow. We had no idea what manner of Kitska beasts attacked the travelers or if they were the type to migrate. I needed to study the path, search for them with my magic, and see if any trails cropped up. Finding and soothing the distressed Kitska beasts was my only priority, regardless of how much time it took.
Still… My gaze traveled to Calem’s back. It was almost impossible for him to remain quiet for this long. Shifting in my saddle, I shot a cursory glance behind me. Ozias patted the tan and white hide of his mare as he urged her along. His lips stretched into a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. I nodded before righting myself and giving in to the silence. Ahead of Calem, Kost led the caravan. He never once looked back.
