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Kost lifted a single shoulder. “You couldn’t protect yourself when the Mizobats attacked, and already you’ve done better here. I’ll take progress however we can get it.”
I hated that he was right. I was a burden when it came to that attack, but here at least I’d defended myself. Somewhat. “Thisexerciseis over.”
Kost’s lips thinned. “Not yet. You’ve continued to pull back from your training prematurely. Push your limits.”
“Push my limits?” I wanted to punch him square in the face. Vaguely, I wondered if that effort would appease him. “All I do is push myself.” Sort of. Of course I didn’t want to accidentally harm anyone with my wayward shadows, but I knew I’d put off training for far too long. I’d resisted, and I hurt people. A small part of me knew that was the undeniable truth. And yet…
No.I pushed myself in ways Kost didn’t understand. Could never understand. Ilikedwho I was before. Now, I was something else.
“Let’s see it then,” Calem called, giving me forewarning where none was warranted. He could’ve just struck, and I doubt I would’ve responded in time. Instead, I glanced his way just as he flicked his wrists and sent more blades careening toward me.
Heat boiled to a head in my core, and power surged through my chest down to my fingertips.Push. Push. Push.If anyone pushed here, it was Kost. He pushed me into this life, he pushed me away from him. Violent and wild, my shadows burst forth and surged across the field. They moved with a ferocity that matched my own ire, racing with unparalleled speed and darting erratically like a creature attempting to strike fear into its mark. They intercepted Calem’s attack, obliterating his shadows into harmless wisps before slamming into him with the force of a beast. Calem’s back cracked against the earth, and he howled in answer. He was on his feet in seconds, shadows racing over his body and stone-like scales forming and receding along his exposed forearms. Mercury flooded his stare.
Tendrils spired around me, there but not really within my grasp. I knew that look in Calem’s eyes. He was about to shift into a creature I wasn’t sure I could stop. He despised losing above all else, and his bloodlust had only increased with his added bestial power.
“Calem,” Ozias warned. He inched in the direction of his brother.
“I’m fine,” Calem snarled. “This will only take a minute.”
“Focus on what they taught you this morning,” Kost called, voice sharp. His gaze darted between me and Calem. “Stop his attack, and then we’ll be done.”
Visions of the last time my shadows writhed beyond my control flooded into my mind. The network of bleeding cuts across Kost’s hands. The gashes on my chest. Gods only knew if I’d woundedsomeone else; I hadn’t asked, and no one had told me otherwise. I’d already stomached enough guilt. I didn’t want to hear the truth if I had.
Calem barked out a laugh. “Incoming.” He lunged, shadows wrapping around his feet to thrust him forward with otherworldly speed.
All at once, my shadows stilled of their own accord. They towered around me like obsidian stalagmites, seemingly immovable. Face stricken, I placed a shaky hand on the nearest one. It was as if I’d freed a monster. My touch sent them barreling across the ground like a stampede. Their forms were far from solid, but I swore I heard the gnashing of teething and harrowing, guttural snarls. They ripped through the earth, leaving canyons of dirt in their wake, and were on Calem in a breath. They barreled into him and coiled around his limbs, rendering him immobile, before suddenly flinging him into a boulder. The smack of his head against the stone rang heavy in the clearing, and as his body slumped to the earth, a streak of blood trailed after him.
“Calem!” Ozias screamed.
No. No, no, no.I was running before I could think. My shadows were still circling him, their movements erratic but deadly. A handful of tendrils reared back and knitted together into a devastatingly sharp blade. Slowly, it poised itself over Calem.
I thrust my hands outward, trying in vain to regain control.Come on. Come on!But the shadows didn’t respond. They continued to close in on their prey, writhing as they prepared to strike. Everything slowed then. I felt the shadows move before they did. Felt the release of tension, the thrust of power, as that blade careened toward my slumped friend. He wouldn’t survive. It was a terrible sense of knowing that settled like a fog over my mind.
I’d killed Calem.
Me.
And then as my shadows moved, Kost appeared. I don’t know how he managed to get there so fast. It was as if he were somehow a few seconds ahead of the rest of us, acting before even my shadows decided to strike. He threw himself over Calem and enclosed them in a dome of onyx just as my blade sliced the air. When the tip met Kost’s shield, a piercing whistle erupted in the clearing, and I watched in horror as my weapon pushed through.
No. Not Kost, too.
There was still too much left to be said. Staggering, I threw my hands wide and imagined clawing my shadows apart. I wanted to rip them into docile shreds, to send them fluttering in the wind and leave my friends unharmed. Because if I killed them…
The whistling faded in time for a strangled grunt to fill the void. My heart hammered against my throat.
Who…
My shadows returned to me and writhed like a nest of vipers at my feet before suddenly shooting in the woods beyond my reach. Gone. Just like before.
I hadn’t succeeded. I’d sworn for a moment that I had. I thought I’d wrenched back some semblance of control, forced them to disperse, but apparently even that was too much for me to accomplish.
But then, the remnants of Kost’s dome dissipated, and he sank to the ground with an obvious exhale.
Breathing.My eyes cut to Calem. The rise and fall of his chest was steady. Relief slammed into me, and I rushed to them with Ozias right by my side. By the time we reached them, Calem was already blinking and rubbing the back of his head. His fingers came away red, and he winced. Then, his brows drew together as he spied Kost before him.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I…” I couldn’t find the words. Kost tensed and then bit out a sharp curse. His hand went to his shoulder blade. A clean rip from the base of his neck to the top of his rib cage dominated my vision. My shadow weapon had cut through his defenses and sliced open his skin. Deep.
