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Calem and Ozias shifted in their seats, neither one of them daring to speak. They knew the story of my past. It’d taken me decades to share it with them, but they knew. Gaige was already privy to more about me than most of the guild, and he’d only just been raised. Still, neither of my brothers interrupted. Sharing details about our past was always a delicate subject, and as a courtesy, we gave each other the space to speak when the occasion arose.
Gaige raised a brow. “Are we here to exact revenge under the guise of monster attacks?”
A small chuckle loosened itself from somewhere deep in mychest. Gaige’s surprised stare riveted to my lips, and heat simmered along the tops of my ears. “No. Rest assured, this was many years ago. Some might recognize me, but those responsible for my death are long gone.”
In one way or another.Jude’s flower bloomed in my mind, but I banished the image with a single shake of my head. He hadn’t killed me. Well, he hadn’tphysicallykilled me.
“How did you die?” Gaige’s voice was soft, but it struck with the force of lightning, and I stiffened in my chair. Ozias and Calem looked as though they wished they could become part of the wall. They’d pressed against it to give us space, and they had tipped their heads toward each other as they passed the time with useless conversation. But I knew they were listening. They’d twitched at Gaige’s question, too.
I took another pull from my glass. How much to tell? It’s not that my death was anything spectacular to begin with. It’s just that there were exactly three people who knew about it—Noc, Calem, and Ozias. If I shared this piece of my history with Gaige, I’d no doubt invest even more of myself in him. He’d already made it abundantly clear that there was no future for us, so what was the point of offering him any part of my past?
“Slowly and painfully,” I hedged, ignoring the weight of his stare and instead rubbing my fingers over my breast pocket. It wasn’t a lie. My deathhadbeen slow. It was the reason I still carried the scar on my chest.
He set his drink down and cupped his chin with his hand. “Riveting. You’re such an eloquent storyteller. Care to elaborate?”
There was something in his words that gave me pause. He knew that the dead didn’t unbury their past. He was prodding, certainly, but even the teasing air to his tone felt hollow, as if he were masking another emotion that he didn’t want me to decipher. I didn’tunderstand his angle. What did he stand to gain by having this conversation? Even worse, why was I falling prey to his tactics?
Before I could fashion a response, the bard appeared in the center of the room. Strumming a polished lute decorated with vines and roses, he twirled in place and began to sing. His baritone voice—detailing a parable about the true nature of monsters—rang out loud and clear above the now subdued conversations of the tavern.
Being here in the Wooden Flower, sitting across from a man I appreciated—fine, desired—sent me reeling back into the past. So when I looked around again, I didn’t see Gaige but Jude in all his roguish beauty. His eyes were the color of good whiskey, his deep-bronze skin tanned from his work in the sun. The nicks on his fingers—a constant, given he was the town’s herbologist and responsible for securing the rare flowers that went into making Anahel’s Craft—told a story of passion and love. I’d admired every single imperfection. But most of all, I’d yearned for his lopsided smile and sharp tongue.
Until one night his penchant for twisting words led him to cheat the wrong traveler in a game of cards. I’d been sitting with him in this very tavern, listening to this very tune, when Jude swept his winnings from the table with a mocking grin. And I’d been there as we walked home, drunk from gin and the high of winning a large sum guaranteed to buy us a cottage of our own, when the traveler and his men jumped us.
“Kost,” Ozias said gently, nudging my arm. The memory fled, and I blinked an errant tear free of my lashes. I caught it with the back of my hand before rubbing both eyes, feigning exhaustion. I doubted it fooled anyone, but they kept their words to themselves. Ozias’s brows inched together, and his lips were downturned. Across from him, Calem stared at the table, not an ounce of humor to be found.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Gaige mumbled, averting his gaze.
I brushed it off with a wave. “It’s fine.”
The bard’s song came to an end, and he gave the crowd a final flourish before the cheers erupted around us. Maneuvering between bodies, the barmaid returned with our platters trailing up her arms.
“It’s a bit rowdy tonight,” she said, voice loud enough to carry over the patrons. “Fewer folks are spending time outside lately.”
Unease prickled my senses, and I accepted my braised venison and leeks. “We heard about the attacks.”
A grim expression filled her dark eyes. “My father was attacked not two nights ago. He managed to get away, but…” She sighed as she dished out the rest of our meals and then wrapped her arms around her stomach. “Our healer left to acquire more medicine. I just hope it doesn’t happen again.”
“Where did they occur?” Gaige asked.
“Past the stables where we farm.” She shivered but shook it off with a smile. “You have nothing to fear, though. We’re patrolling the area, and attacks are rare. Something must’ve spooked the monster.” A local shouted her name, and she pivoted, tilting her ear to the sound. “Enjoy the food.” Rolling her eyes, she spun around to attend to a group of men a few tables away.
Gaige frowned at his soup. “We should check it out and see if we can determine what kind of beast it was.”
“In the morning.” I picked up my knife and sliced into the meat. “We’ll rotate shifts tonight to keep watch over the town to be safe.”
“How sure are we that they’ll be back?” Calem asked around a mouthful of bread.
“We can’t even be certain they were the same beasts that attacked the travelers who made it to Midnight Jester.” Gaige listlessly stirredhis spoon. Dumplings, scallops, and an assortment of veggies formed a whirlpool in the light broth.
“Well, it didn’t sound like there was an incident last night.” Ozias skewered roasted green beans with his fork and pointed them at Gaige. “Everything will be okay. We’ll figure it out.”
“We just need to find out why they’re attacking in the first place,” he said quietly.
The unspoken fear, the truth, hung heavy in the air between us, transforming the pleasant atmosphere into something stiff and uncomfortable. We all suspected Gaige was responsible, even if he wasn’t fully willing to admit it to himself. Perhaps facing reality on his own would help usher him toward control.
Or it would break him and cause even more chaos.My food was becoming more unappealing by the minute, and it had nothing to do with the excellent flavor. We spent the rest of the meal in silence, each of us mulling over our thoughts between forced bites and long sips of alcohol. Calem excused himself first, not even bothering with the troupe of women who’d stationed themselves nearby. They’d been throwing not-so-subtle glances his direction all evening, but he made for his room with a mumbled good night. Ozias did the same, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder before giving it a squeeze.
Gaige watched them go with tired eyes. “Am I really so difficult to be around?”
