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My fingers skated along my bare torso, searching for any one of the multitude of wounds the Lost had inflicted, but I came up empty. Thankfully. “The Lost… He’s an undead mage.”
Noc nodded tightly. “He must have been raised before our time. Uma is the oldest member of the guild, and she doesn’t recall him, either.”
“Where has he been all this time? Why show himself now?” I leaned across the bed to retrieve my glasses, but I stalled at the empty nightstand. I’d forgotten the Lost had destroyed my spectacles during our battle. Instead, I gripped the hem of the sheets and prepared to pull them off when the door to the bedroom swung open.
Gaige stood in the opening, one hand still on the handle and the other gripping a small parcel. He looked so…alive. Gods, if thesight of him didn’t do wondrous things to my heart. The collar of his tunic was unbuttoned to reveal the first smatterings of chest hair, and the deep, ocean blue perfectly accentuated the hue of his eyes. His trousers pulled tightly against his thighs and tapered down his calves, where they tucked into worn, leather boots. Damp locks, as if he’d freshly bathed, framed his face and grazed his neck, and I found myself drawn to the sharp cut of his jaw and the bob of his throat. When he’d registered that I’d awoken, he released the iron knob and took three quick strides to the bedside. With mock irritation—or perhaps it was more real than he let on—he speared Noc with a frown.
“You were supposed to get me when he woke up.”
Mirth filled my brother’s eyes, and his lips twisted into a grin. “Sorry. You were next on my list, I promise.”
“Well, now that I’m here…” He let his words fall off without breaking Noc’s gaze.
I didn’t think it was possible for Noc’s smile to stretch further, but it did. It was genuine, though, full of happiness and relief that seemed to fill every inch of his being. When his gaze slipped back to me, it was soft and full and warm. Without saying anything at all, I knew what his expression meant.
I’m happy for you.He turned back to Gaige. “I’ll go check on Calem. The others will want to speak with Kost, soon, though.”
“They can wait.” Gaige only looked at me. Heat filled his steel-blue stare, and a delicious tingle crept over my skin. Neither of us said a word until the door clicked closed behind Noc and we were finally, blissfully, alone.
Something freed Gaige, and he dropped his parcel on the nightstand and crawled on top of me to crush his lips against mine. I let out a startled groan, but quickly brought my hands to either side of his face to hold him there. I wanted to relish the velvety feel of hislips forever. The intricate slide of his tongue against mine. In the heat of his breath, the scrape of his teeth against my skin as he tasted my neck. After he placed a bruising kiss where my jaw and throat met, he dragged his heated gaze to meet mine.
“You’re okay,” he murmured.
“Of course I am.” I couldn’t help but frown.
With a dimpled grin, he rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.” Then, gently, he ran his knuckles along the side of my face. “I was worried.”
“So was I.” I leaned into his touch as I remembered his crumpled body, motionless, on the beach. There had been so much blood. Too much for my mind to properly strategize an attack when it came to the Lost. All I’d wanted was to let my emotions run wild and fight without care. And then, when the Lost’s world collapsed and the shadows were dragging Gaige under, I’d just barely managed to grab hold of his wrist.
I’d almost lost him twice, and I still hadn’t been honest about my feelings.
“Gaige…” I swallowed thickly. A familiar fear stirred in my gut, but it was nothing compared to what I’d just endured. It certainly wouldn’t compare to the agony I’d feel if I never got the chance to tell him again.
He pulled away so he was sitting on the ledge of the bed, and his gaze roved over my face, searching. “Yes?”
“I…” My throat tightened. Gods, why was this so difficult?
Gaige’s expression softened, as if reading my thoughts. He reached over and brushed his thumb across my lips. “When you’re ready, Kostya. Not a moment sooner.”
His response only made me love him more. Emotion filled my eyes as tears threatened to spill over, and I pushed his hand away. I couldn’t sit still. All those unspoken fears and words filled my limbs,and I needed to move. Pulling the sheets aside, I jumped to my feet and paced. Gaige tracked each step with guarded eyes as he clasped his hands.
“Kost…” He began when I’d passed him for the fifth time over. “It’s okay.”
My feet rooted to the floor. Slowly, I forced myself to meet his stare. His shoulders were slightly rolled forward, his head tilted to the side. He looked up at me through the tops of his lashes, and his lips were pressed together in a thin line. Something sad flickered through his eyes, and my heart twisted painfully.
“Here,” he said as a breath loosened from his chest. He snagged the parcel and handed to me. “I got you something.”
Quietly, I undid the thick parchment to reveal an oblong, polished, mahogany box. I unclasped the golden toggle at the center and flipped it open. A pair of rimless, silver spectacles sat pristinely atop a bed of mulberry silk. Gently, I ghosted a finger along the thin frames.
“I still owed you some after Moeras. If you don’t like them, we’ll find a different pair.” His words were so incredibly soft, so full of that damn unspoken emotion waiting to be named.
I stared at the liquid sheen of the glasses, unable to take my eyes off their perfection. Offhisperfection. I’d spent lifetimes waiting for someone like him. And here he was, baring his heart to me with this immensely honest and heartwarming gesture, and I was still afraid. I was afraid of losing him, one way or another. I was afraid of what that would do to me if it happened.
And he still had no idea why. I owed him that, at least.
“I was in love once before.” I saw him stiffen in my peripheral vision, but I forced myself to keep going. “His name was Jude, and we lived together in Moeras. I saved his life, but in turn…” I touched the bone-white scar above my heart and felt his gaze shift to the samespot. “I died. Not right away. The local healer managed to stitch me up and fill me with herbal remedies, and while the wound healed, the underlying infection never dissipated. It was slow. Painful.
“About that time, an assassin had come through town to complete a bounty, and Jude convinced him to take me back to Cruor and have me raised.” I removed the glasses and set the box on the nightstand, still unable to let go of the gift Gaige had given me. “Jude wasn’t prepared, I suppose, for what that would entail. He found the shadows…revolting. After years together, after what I gave up for him, he simply left.
