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But when I get home, all I can think of is Lily.
That woman today—Georgia—wanted to sleep with me. Under any other circumstances, I would’ve wanted her too. So what changed? One date with Lily? The promise of another one? What the hell happened to casual? She never said we had to be exclusive, but the thought of another woman turns me off completely.
Unsettled, I walk to my home office and slump down in my desk chair. I stare at the blank screen of my laptop for a while, then scrub my hands over my face and stretch my neck.
I haven’t enjoyed myself that much on a date in a long, long time. Not since I fell head over heels with my ex-girlfriend nearly six years ago, and it ended in disaster. As I lean back in my office chair, overlooking the backyard I’ve carefully tended for the past three years, I think of last night.
That kiss will be burned in my mind for the rest of my life. Even thinking about it now makes my shaft stir in my pants, and I rub my palm over my jeans in an absent motion. I smelled her on my skin all evening. I dreamed of her. I woke up harder than I ever have, and I made myself come to the thought of her lush, pink lips wrapped around my cock. Her hair would look good wrapped around my hands, I decide, and even better splayed across my pillow. Her skin was buttery-soft under my fingertips. I can still feel a whisper of it across my skin. If I woke up to her curled around my side, I think I could die happy.
But I held back from taking her home and screwing her senseless. In the light of day, I’m not even sure why. We had a good time. We’re planning a second date. She’s funny, snarky, intelligent, and drop-dead gorgeous.
I should have just gone for it—but it felt wrong. For some reason, I want to take my time with Lily. Of course, I would have loved to bury my hands in her hair and hear her moan against my lips. I would have loved to strip that dress on her body and make love to her all night…but then what?
I’ve slept with women after a first date before. Hell, I’ve been doing that since Tracey and I broke up. My ex-girlfriend was supposed to be my wife. I was supposed to adopt her daughter, and I planned on being the best stepfather that kid would ever need.
When we split, it broke something inside me and I’m not sure I’ve ever tried to fix it. I’ve been dating women casually since then, and nothing has ever stopped me from getting them in bed after a successful first date.
The thought of waking up next to Lily and having that awkward morning-after conversation makes my stomach turn. I want our mornings after to include pancakes and bacon and sex and coffee and endless hours together. That’s not how this morning would have been if I’d taken her home with me last night.
The doorbell rings.
My chair creaks as I stand up and I take a moment to arch my back, feeling the satisfying crack and pop of my too-stiff spine. Barefoot, I pad along my knotty pine floorboards to the front of the house, seeing a large, dark shape in the frosted glass of the front door.
Lee Blair is standing on my stoop wearing jeans and a black tee. He arches a brow at me. “You don’t call. You don’t text. I thought we had something, Rudy. I thought it was special.”
Grinning, I step aside to let him in. His motorcycle boots echo in the hallway as we make our way to the kitchen at the back of the house. Lee flops down onto the sofa in the open-plan room as I start making myself a sandwich for lunch. He nods when I offer to make him one, then stands up to grab himself a soda out of the fridge.
The tab on the can pops as the drink fizzes and Lee takes a long drink. Then he sets the can down on my counter and crosses his arms. “How was your date with Lily Viceroy last night?”
I choke on air and clear my throat, then glance at him. “How did you know I was out with Lily?”
Lee grins. “Lily told Trina. Trina told Mac. Mac told me.” Mac—Lee’s brother—and Trina are together. Apparently all three of them are worse gossips than the hotel ladies are with my grandmother.
When I tell Lee that, he just laughs. “Come on, Rudy. We all know she’s been going to the bookstore. Took you long enough to ask her out.”
“She’s only been in town for a few weeks,” I protest.
“My point exactly.”
“This is ridiculous. So I went on a date—so what?”
“You didn’t take her home, though. Was she not into it?”
“I’m not talking about this.” I slam the top piece of bread on his sandwich and toss the whole thing onto a plate. “Eat that and be quiet.”
Lee laughs again, and I’m sure he’s doing it because he knows it’s getting under my skin. I take a huge bite out of my own lunch and chew angrily, then go on the offensive. “What about you? You spend all your nights at your father’s bar just to avoid meeting anyone. You’ve been wallowing since Drea left you.”
Lee rolls his eyes, red tinging his ears. “Yeah, right. I don’t wallow, asshole.”
We eat in silence for a while and the food settles my stomach. Thoughts of Lily pop up uninvited, like the way her eyes looked in the front seat of my car last night, or how her laugh made something stir in my chest—and my pants.
I want to see her again—but maybe it’s a bad idea. We both agreed to be casual, and I have no desire to make things any more serious than she does. Maybe it’s better for me to just back off.
“You coming to help out with the community garden?” Lee says, brushing a few crumbs off his fingers onto the plate.
I glance at the time and swear softly. “I forgot about that. I told Dorothy I’d be there two hours ago.”
Lee arches a brow. “We’d better get going, then.”
