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“Nope,” I answer, and that, at least, is the truth.
CHAPTER 8
Lily
Somehow, I manage to convince my family that I don’t want to do—or get—anything for my birthday. It’s a relief when they mostly agree. On Wednesday, I turn forty with little fanfare and only a quiet family dinner at Trina’s house. I watch Allie with her cousins, Toby and Katie, and it takes all my self-control not to run my hand over my stomach.
I’m going to have a child. The three of them will have a new cousin in a matter of months.
The thought of it is enough to make me want to run down the street in a panic—but that would definitely raise a few eyebrows…and questions.
So instead, I shift my eyes away from the kids and refuse, for the thousandth time, Candice’s offer of wine.
“You used to love wine,” she says, eyeing me suspiciously.
“I’m not drinking this month,” I say, hoping that’s the end of it. Maybe I can keep using that excuse for the next six months or so.
Candice nods and moves to the next half-full glass that needs a top-up.
“So, Lily, tell us about this second date you have with Agnes’s grandson,” my mother says. She’s already asked me about it half a dozen times since she found out about it at the community garden, but obviously I haven’t satisfied her curiosity.
“It’s not a date,” I lie. “I’m just helping him stick it to his arrogant cousin.”
“Okay,” Candice hums, “and what are you going to wear to your non-date? It’s a black-tie event, right?”
“Trina’s in charge of that,” I answer with a grin. “I’m hoping she has a plan.”
At my words, Trina launches into a detailed explanation of what she’s thinking for my outfit, hair, and makeup. She expertly navigates the conversation to clothing, then to her own business ventures as a new stylist, and I use the opportunity to slip out the back door for a breath of fresh air.
After a few moments, the patio doors open and Trina joins me. She gives me a small smile and jerks her head to the door she just closed behind her. “They’re talking about Candice’s new house, so it’s probably safe to go back inside now.”
I grin. “Thanks for helping me deflect.”
Trina laughs, then clears her throat. “Listen, I know you said you didn’t want anything for your birthday…”
“I don’t. I’d rather just forget that I’m forty altogether.”
She laughs. “Hey, now. Careful. You make it sound like a bad thing. My forties have been the best decade so far.” She jerks her head to the side. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
Our footsteps echo on the timber patio until we take the three steps down to the gravel pathway leading to the side of the house. Trina walks ahead of me in the gathering dusk, a motion-activated light illuminating our way. She stops at the side door that opens into the garage, and steps inside.
Flicking on the lights, Trina walks to a corner of the room where a half-dozen unopened boxes are neatly stacked. A tarp covers a knobby-shaped piece of furniture beside the boxes, which Trina removes with a flick of the wrist.
Beneath the blue plastic, a crib and stroller appear. They’re wrapped in protective plastic and look a little worn, but still in good shape.
I take a step backward.
“I don’t even know why I kept all this stuff,” Trina says, opening up one of the boxes and peering inside. “But I did.” She points to the boxes. “There’s clothing, swaddles, blankets, toys, books. I’ll go through the stuff this week and keep some of the more sentimental items, but the rest is yours if you want it. I’m sure in the past six years, there have been a thousand new baby items on the market that are bigger and better than all this, but at least it’ll get you started. I have a car seat somewhere, too, and a gliding rocking chair that was a lifesaver for feeding and soothing. I got rid of the changing table because it was a bit rickety, but I’m sure you can get one that isn’t too expensive.”
My heart is pounding. My breath is coming in short gasps, and I can’t quite find the words to say anything. I don’t even know what I would say.
Trina glances at me and frowns. “Lily?”
“I… Thanks. It’s just…” I turn my back on all the baby things and suck in a shaking breath. I square my shoulders and manage to get my breathing under control before turning back around. I look at my sister and nod. “Thank you,” I croak. “It just seems a little…real.”
“Like if you start thinking of logistics, you’ll have a panic attack?” Trina asks as the corner of her lips tug.
I nod.
